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Help the Challenged Child

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Over the last months I’ve been sharing from my husband’s web site: Intermin on parenting. This month will be the last in this series. We have been talking about different reasons children might not behave as you would expect. One reason is rebellion, another is discouragement, and this one is when they have a weakness. If we take the same approach to every misbehaviour, we will miss some of the most important opportunities to influence our children to do their best. To read the entire article go to: Help the Challenged Child.

There’s a mystery about Vincent. Here’s the explanation of it. Vincent has learning disabilities: special problems that make it hard for him to learn in a normal school room setting. His problems aren’t serious enough to detect easily, and that makes things worse. Vincent’s difficulty isn’t his intellect, but the way he processes information. With the proper help, Vincent will become an outstanding young man. However, if someone doesn’t help him, if he is ignored or misunderstood, Vincent’s true potential will be wasted.

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Encourage the Faint-hearted

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For the last few months I have been sending parts of Positive Parenting from Mike’s web site, Intermin

These lessons come from a parenting teaching my husband does on I Thes. 5:14-“Now we exhort you, brothers, warn the unruly, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

Children do not do what we expect of them for different reasons. We’ve spent the last couple months talking about warning the unruly. This month we’ll discuss encouraging the faint hearted. I realize the examples are about older children than yours, but the lessons are good reminders of ways we can deal with our children when they don’t meet our expectations.
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The Race

It’s Track and Field Day at the international school. The high school boys line up for the 1600 meter race. At the sharp, “Crack!” of the starter’s gun the runners explode from the starting line, each boy straining to get the maximum results from his body. Sixteen hundred meters later, one would win, one would be the fastest, the best. Four others would lose, though they may have trained and competed just as well.

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How to Warn the Unruly

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Last month we talked about the need to warn unruly children. This month we talk about how to do that.

We can learn how to warn our children and enforce those warnings, no matter what our temperament is, or theirs. The key is to not allow yourself to become a passive parent. Here are some strategies that will help:

Be Definite in Your Warning

Indefinite warnings are wasted warnings. As an example,. which one of these parents will get the best results:

  • Parent number one: “John, don’t be so naughty. If you don’t straighten up, you’re going to get it!”
  • Parent number two: “Susie, do not hit your brother. If you hit your brother again, you will sit on your time out chair for ten minutes. Do you understand?”

If you picked the second warning, you are right. Little Susie will get the message. If she doesn’t, her parents will know exactly what to do.

A definite warning is much stronger than an empty threat. The second warning identifies the unruly behavior, states the parent’s expectation, and explains the consequences of disobedience. The first warning, though full of emotion, is vague. You can almost hear the shouting and feel the tension. But it doesn’t really say anything. John will probably ignore the first warning, and the parent who gave it will become very frustrated.

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Warn the Unruly

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Last month I began a series from my husband’s web site called 21st Century Parenting. This part is Warn the Unruly.

The word unruly describes those who break the rules or ignore the rules. It refers to willful disobedience. An unruly person chooses to do wrong, though he knows what is right. Such behavior requires a clear, understandable, enforceable warning, and appropriate consequences if the child ignores the warning.

Parents set boundaries for their children. Though we know that our children could still get hurt living within the boundaries, we know there are hidden dangers, dangers they do not understand, outside the boundaries.

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Have a New Kid by Friday Review

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Dr. Kevin Leman wrote a wonderful book to help parents with discipline called, Have a New Kid by Friday. I reviewed some of the major concepts of the book and some specific examples of how it works for Toddlers. You can see the series of articles one at a time here:

Part 1– Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence

Part 2– Attitudes

Part 3– Character

Part 4– Discipline

Part 5– Temper Tantrums and Bedtime Battles

Part 6– Let Reality Be the Teacher and B Doesn’t Happen Until A Is Completed

done