Quarreling and fighting among siblings is a perennial problem. Every mom of two or more kids faces it. Remember Joseph and his brothers in Genesis? Even Fairy Tales like Cinderella talk about sibling rivalry. We hope to make this an on-going discussion. Why not share your examples, strategies, and resources for other moms facing the dreaded Sibling Rivalry?
New Kid by Friday – part 6
Over the last few months I’ve been sharing some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday.
These are the last two strategies from Dr. Leman that we will cover in these letters. Strategy one, “Let reality be the teacher.” And the second strategy is, “B doesn’t happen until A is completed.”
He stresses that as much as possible allow natural consequences to teach lessons to your child. Don’t be constantly reminding them of the consequences, just let them feel them. Don’t micromanage your child’s experiences. [Read more…]
New Kid by Friday- part 5
Dr. Leman has a technique that he uses for a lot of different behavior problems. This one works particularly well when the purpose of the misbehavior is to get your attention and to control you. It goes like this: 1. Say it once. 2. Turn your back. 3. Walk away.
Telling your child more than once, he believes, just teaches your child that you think he/she is too stupid to understand you the first time. I tend to think it teaches children that they don’t have to obey until you have gotten worked up about it. That’s why counting is usually a bad idea.
Turning your back keeps your child from the reward of your attention. Children sometimes want your attention so much they don’t care if it means being punished. Not giving them attention when they are misbehaving breaks that link. Later, when they are doing well is the time to reward them with your attention.
Walking away is the hardest part of this method. When you walk away your child begins to panic, “Why isn’t mom giving me what I expect?” Dr. Leman says not to even say why you are walking away, just do it and it will result in a teachable moment.
New Kid by Friday- part 4
Over the last three months I’ve been sharing some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday. In February I reviewed the three pillars of a child’s self worth: Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence. Then in March I reviewed the first of the top 3 long-term concerns of parents, Attitude.
In April I reviewed what he had to say about Character. Of course most of his book is about the third concern, Behavior. It is written for parents with children of all ages; much of the book is beyond the scope of babies and toddlers. Laying good foundations of discipline is so important, though, that I want to take some time to talk about some of his specific approaches.
New Kid by Friday- part 1
This month I have been reading a great book by Dr. Kevin Leman called Have a New Kid by Friday. Although it sounds like a quick-fix, self-help book, it is really well written and has such sound beliefs behind his teaching. He is a clinical psychologist, married for almost 40 years, and with experience raising 5 kids. He is a believer in Jesus and uses Biblical principles, though he doesn’t declare chapter and verse. I have been confirmed by this book in what I teach moms with young children. I want to share some of the principles from this book over the next few months when I send your monthly bulletin to you. Of course Dr. Leman has much more to say and lots more examples than I will ever be able to cover in this short email.
For those of you who have been receiving First Steps bulletins for a while, some of these points will be review. Dr. Leman has put these ideas in such easy to remember form that I want to share them again.
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 3
- 4
- 5