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Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

You are here: Home / Archives for daddy

A Tale of Three Fathers

June 8, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

Since we celebrate Father’s Day in June, I thought I’d write my tale of three fathers for Your Child’s Journey and First Steps bulletins.

The Message Bible translates Paul’s comment in 1 Corinthians 4:15, “There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up.”

That describes well the three fathers I have in mind to tell about. These three fathers willingly took the time and effort to help their children grow up well.

The first of these three fathers is my own father. He is father to four girls and two boys. I am the first of his children.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: daddy

How Important is Dad?

July 4, 2012 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

In June 2012, two studies involving dads and their children were published in scientific journals. The first study was done at the University of Connecticut over several decades. The second one was done by Brigham Young University on the effects of parenting style of dads on their children.

In the first study they found that kids who feel rejected by their fathers show higher rates of behavioral problems than those who feel rejected by their mothers. These children show much higher rates of delinquency, depression, and substance abuse.

Moms may reject their child because they had not wanted to be pregnant, poor bonding soon after delivery, or other problems that drive her away from home. Of course, we expect those children to be seriously affected by her rejection.

But this study showed that if a child feels rejected by their father, the consequences are much more serious. Dads are vital to a child’s well-being. Dads may never have bonded with the child and therefore are more aloof. They may just be so busy or have to be away so much that they don’t know how to respond to the child when they are home and the child feels rejected. Or the child may not be what dad expected and so he rejects the child. His son may show more interest in music and arts or cooking and he wanted a child who loved the outdoors and would go trekking or hunting with him. But no matter what the cause, the effect can be devastating on the child.

In the Brigham Young study children responded much more strongly to the parenting style of the father than of the mother. The father’s style effected the child’s persistence much more than the mother’s style.

If the father showed love and warmth to his kids, held them responsible to obey the rules, explained why the rules exist, and gave them age-appropriate freedom; the children thrived. These children were much more persistent in their school work and had much lower incidents of delinquency. In other words, these were involved dads and they had good kids.

Another amazing fact that came out of this study was that it didn’t matter if the father figure in the home was the biological father or not. What mattered was his involvement and warmth with the children in the home.

So yet again, we see the importance of keeping dad involved with your children. Do everything you can to provide him time with the children when he is able to give them undivided attention. Keep him up-dated on your child’s development. Discuss any concerns you have together and agree on ways to handle those problems. Never put your husband down in front of the kids, but support him in his parenting role.


Some other articles about Dad that you might find important:

  • Moms and Dads Together during pregnancy.
  • When you have a newborn, Daddy needs time to bond with your baby. (See  Bonding and Brain Chemicals )
  • At around 18 months little boys realize they are more like dad than mom. They begin to shift their interest and allegiance to dad. They want to do everything dad does and they crave his attention. This is normal and vital to later healthy gender development. (See: ‘Healthy Gender Development‘)
  • Dads and Their Daughters
  • Moms and Dads Play Differently – Kids need both kinds of play!

Filed Under: All Ages, The Child-Ready Marriage Tagged With: bonding, daddy, gender development

Lonely Husband

November 4, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

A nicely dressed husband and wife walked into our condo one afternoon. They were in their mid-forties, have two teenagers, and good jobs. They looked successful and like they should have everything necessary for a good life.

After some chit-chat, we asked what they would like to talk about; how we could help them. The wife started by saying, “He has been cheating on me.”

The husband sat with his head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. He admitted he had been unfaithful. When we asked, “Why?” He said, “I’ve been so lonely in our marriage.  The girl at work took time to talk to me and showed me she thought I was special.”
[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages, Newborn Tagged With: daddy, parenting

2 Years 1 Month Girl

August 16, 2009 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

New Focus

At this age, children develop in very different ways. Some seem to concentrate almost exclusively on language skills while letting other skills stagnate. Other children concentrate on motor skills, either large or small muscles, and are not interested in using any more language than absolutely necessary. “Normal” development is a wide range from here on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Month-by-Month Girl Tagged With: daddy, games, hearing, helping, play, stammering, stuttering

2 Years 1 Month Boy

August 16, 2009 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

New Focus

At this age, children develop in very different ways. Some seem to concentrate almost exclusively on language skills while letting other skills stagnate. Other children concentrate on motor skills, either large or small muscles, and are not interested in using any more language than absolutely necessary. “Normal” development is a wide range from here on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Month-by-Month Boy Tagged With: daddy, hearing, helping, play, stammering, stuttering

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