10 Ways to Help Newborns Sleep Better

July 13, 2018 By Diane Constantine

Part 2 of “Parents of Newborns Say. . . ” Series

“How can I get enough sleep . . .” You will not get enough sleep for the first few months after bringing a newborn home. But these tips will help baby sleep better and at better times. These are excerpts from Lauren Tamm at The Military Wife and Mom .com

Swaddle – Firmly wrapping baby keeps their startle reflex from wakening them frequently.
Dreamfeed -this is a feeding right before you go to bed, to help prevent the baby from waking up just after you finally drift off to sleep.
Limit the length of naps during the day. If the baby sleeps past the 2 – 2.5 hour mark, wake the baby up, feed him, keep him a wake for a bit, and then lay him down for another nap. Think: More daytime feeds = less nighttime feeds.
Use white noise – Baby will hear a soft regular sound nearby and will be less disturbed by noises from another part of the house.
Follow the eat, wake, sleep cycle. The baby wakes from sleep and immediately eats. Then the baby is awake for a while to play. Then the baby goes back to sleep….

This cycle has several purposes. First, it encourages full feedings by allowing the baby to eat immediately after waking. The baby will have the most energy immediately after waking, making him more inclined to take a full feeding and go longer between feedings. Also, by feeding the baby after sleep rather than before sleep, the cycle prevents the baby from associating food with sleep or using food as a sleep prop. When using this cycle, a feeding before bedtime is typically the only feeding before sleep.

Use a pre-nap and bedtime routines. It is well known that babies thrive on routine, structure, and predictability. Creating consistent routines for your baby will help bring order to a very chaotic world. Choose a pre-nap routine that works for you. A pre-nap routine may include taking the baby to his room, close the blinds or curtains, place the baby in his sleep sack or wearable blanket, turn on the white noise, sing a quick song (e.g. Twinkle, twinkle), give a few cuddles, and say your sleepy words “I love you. I hope you have a good sleep.”

A bedtime routine would typically be a little longer and may include a bath, a massage, reading a story, offering a feeding, placing the baby in a wearable blanket or swaddle, turning on the white noise, a few cuddles, and saying your sleepy words. Following the same exact routine as consistently as possible cues the baby for sleep, and over time the baby will learn that sleep immediately follows the nap and bedtime routines.

Change your baby’s diaper strategically – Changing the diaper before a middle of the night feeding prevents the baby from waking up too much after a feeding is finished.
Understand how a baby sleeps. Encourage lots of naps AND feedings during the day following the eat, wake, sleep cycle. Keeping a baby awake in hopes of tiring him out will actually result in over-stimulation, and he will experience both difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. It is very likely an over-tired baby will sleep shorter, not longer.
Don’t rush in… Give the baby some time and see if he will resettle himself. Avoid rushing in and disturbing this process in order to help your newborn baby sleep better.
Lay the baby down awake, but drowsy.

The most important way to encourage your baby to sleep well in the long run is to teach him to fall asleep independently, which is essentially the beginnings of teaching independent sleep.

To read the entire article and follow some additional links, click: The Military Wife and Mom .com

Newborn’s Sleep

July 11, 2018 By Diane Constantine

Watch Parent Tips for “Parents of Newborns Say. . .” This series of articles will cover things these parents claim that no one told them about before baby came.

“I had no idea newborns sleep so much but wake up so often!” The next few articles will help you understand why you are sleep deprived and some ways to try to get more sleep.

Let’s start with five things you probably didn’t know about newborn’s sleep.

BabyCenter.com has a great article about newborn baby’s sleep. Here are the highlights.

Many newborns have their nights and days reversed. They sleep for longer stretches in the daytime and are more alert at night. As the baby’s brain and nervous system mature, the sleep cycles will get longer and more sleep will occur at night. This usually takes a month or more.
Newborns typically sleep 12 -18 hours until they’re a month old. That’s the good part. The bad part is that they rarely sleep more than two to four hours at a time, day or night!
Babies do not need peace and quiet to sleep. The womb is a noisy place with heartbeat, digestion and so on. Noise doesn’t bother them. They will sleep anywhere and anytime they need to sleep.
Babies have their own sleep personalities. They come from the womb with their own temperament. Some are light sleepers and some heavy sleepers.
Babies are safer and sleep better with no blankets or pillows in their bed. Doctors recommend sleeping on their back on a firm, flat mattress with a tight fitting sheet. Keep them cozy with layered clothing or a one piece sleeper. (If you are going to co-sleep or have a family bed, please read this article, “Sleep Sharing.” Don’t worry, it isn’t against this practice, but does give some directions that could make this more successful.)

To read the whole article, see: 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Newborn Sleep

Click here for a video on Baby Sleep Tips for Birth to 3 Months

Baby Expressions

November 30, 2016 By Diane Constantine

Have you been observing your baby or child to know them even better? Do you know how he/she reacts to tastes, smells, noise, smiles, hugs, strangers, and being alone? I’m sure you already kn0w the answers to many of these.

Some of these preferences are based in their personality and won’t change much throughout life. But others may change very often. What they liked yesterday, they may hate today. Their choice of toys and games they play with you changes very quickly too. So stay flexible and alert.

Though little babies do not understand your words, they do understand your tone. So, as you notice something about them, talk about it. Say things like, “I see you really like bananas today. Bananas are yummy.” Or “Ah, so you don’t want to play Peek-a-Boo right now. This Little Piggy is your favorite game today.” As you practice reflecting out loud what you are observing about your baby and child, you build bridges with them. They will feel more connected to you and your parent-child relationship strengthens.

scared-baby — What is he trying to tell you?

I have a fun exercise for you to try now. There are different levels of consciousness that you can observe even in little babies. Go to, States of Consciousness, with pictures of these levels of consciousness. Try to match the pictures with the descriptions. See how well you do. Then be aware of how your baby demonstrates these levels of consciousness. (Note: Both parents should try this!)

Then go to: Baby Emotions. Since babies cannot tell you in words, it is important we can identify their facial expressions. See how well you do at recognizing these Baby Emotions. Be sure to tell your baby what you observe. They will learn the words for the emotions they feel as you continue to use the correct words. Of course, sometimes you will miss it entirely. That’s OK, keep practicing and you will get better at this non-verbal communication.

The Gottman Institute calls these exercises, building love maps. As we gain knowledge of each other and each of our children, we have a better ‘map’ to their heart. Do whatever you can, even in small ways, to build your understanding and create meaningful connections. It’s an idea with a great future investment.

For more articles on Parenting Together see:

Mom and Dad Together During Pregnancy.
If your baby is already born, you may want to go on to: How Important is Dad?

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Baby Sleep

April 29, 2016 By Diane Constantine

Baby sleeping at night means everyone in the family sleeps better. Having a baby that doesn’t sleep well calls for action. Our grandson cried non-stop every time he was laid down for months. At night one adult swaddled him, walked him, rocked him, and prayed for him to sleep. Whenever he nodded off, he was gently laid in his car seat (the only place he sometimes slept). Within a short while he was crying again and the whole process began again. He was finally diagnosed with GER and medication was prescribed and the whole family began to get sleep at night.

Most babies don’t have such a severe problem with lying down and sleeping. Here are some ways to help your baby be able to sleep well at night. Starting early might help you avoid some bad habits that will make your child’s falling asleep a chore every night for years.

Have a regular bedtime. Children thrive on routine. Going to bed at the same time every night helps your baby begin to get sleepy at that time each evening. (Of course it can’t be the same every night, but make it as often as possible.)
Wind down time. Right before nap time and bedtime, take a few minutes to snuggle and begin to calm down. At nighttime, you may want to have a longer bedtime routine including a soothing bath, read a book or sing a song, pray together, or any other ritual you don’t mind continuing for years.
Comfort. Make sure he is fed and burped, has on a clean diaper. Swaddling helps young babies feel more secure. Appropriate sleepwear for your climate and room temperature is also a must.
Sleep associations. Dim light, white noise, a certain scent, or a comfort item can signal it is time to sleep for your little one. Even when you need to give a night feeding, be consistent with keeping the lights dim, little noise, and no play during these feedings, your baby should learn to fall back to sleep quickly and not get his days and nights mixed up.
Keep naps consistent. When babies are overly tired, they are much harder to get to sleep. As much as possible, make sure they have a regular nap time.
Lay baby down before she is totally asleep. When she falls asleep in your arms, she expects to wake up that way. When she stirs and you are not holding her, she is jerked wide awake and alarmed. Then you must hold her again for her to calm down and get back to sleep. But, if she falls asleep in her crib with very dim light and quiet, she will learn to self-soothe to sleep. When she stirs awake later, everything is as it was when she fell asleep, and she self-soothes back to sleep. Of course if she is hungry or wet, she’ll let you know she needs your help.
Babies don’t sleep through the night for the first few months. Most babies need night feedings until they are at least 12 pounds or 5.5 kg. By about 3 months, babies are fairly regular about when they eat and sleep. If you have practiced these routines, your baby should be well on the way to sleeping through the night.

Here are some articles on Your Child’s Journey about sleep:

Here are some reliable resources on this topic:

Gentle ways to help your child sleep through the night.
Baby sleep training basics from Baby Center
Baby Won’t Sleep? Tips from BabiesLike.com

If you have questions or comments about this article, please email me.

Sleep and Why it is So Important

February 28, 2014 By Diane Constantine

I am concerned about baby and children’s sleep as it relates to their behavior and intellectual development. Since we all want smarter, healthier children, sleep is far more important than what milk we feed them or which vitamin is touted to give them the edge.

I read some articles based on the UK Millennium Cohort Study. They are studying 11,000 children born in 2000 and will follow them through adulthood. There were some interesting facts to emerge from the study.

The children were evaluated at 9 months, 3, 5, and 7 years with parental questionnaires and in-home studies. The questions about the children’s sleep related to whether they had a regular bedtime and whether they slept before 9 pm. They did not report how many hours their children slept, however.

The results of standardized tests in math, reading and spatial abilities when they were 7 years old showed a definite difference between children with a regular bedtime and those with none. Children with consistent bedtimes throughout their early years showed better performance across all subject areas, while children with irregular bedtimes had lower test scores on all subjects.

We know from other studies that the brain is subject to change — especially when it’s laying down nerve tracks and making new connections in early childhood. The key to keeping the brain in this adaptable state is sleep. Reduced or disrupted sleep, especially if it occurs at key times in development, could have important impacts throughout life.

The link between lack of sleep and a child’s behavior often isn’t as obvious as with adults. We can mistake lots of energy for being well-rested. Instead of being sluggish and grumpy like an adult, kids often become hyper or have extremes in their behavior when they don’t get enough sleep.

Although there are an average number of hours babies and children should sleep, each child has their own optimum. You may have to experiment to find the best pattern for your child.

Some ways to see if your child should sleep earlier or longer can be seen by their behavior. If your child’s eyes start looking droopy or glazed over, you should probably be putting him to bed. Fighting to stay awake past that slow down will usually result in hyperactivity or misbehavior and a much harder time settling down to sleep. Then when your child wakes in the morning after enough sleep he or she will wake easily and be ready to get dressed and eat and get on with the day. If your child keeps trying to go back to sleep or resists getting dressed or eating, they may need more sleep.

Sleep deprivation adds up over time, so an hour less per night is like a night without sleep by the end of the week. Symptoms of insufficient sleep can lead to decreased attentiveness, decreased short-term memory, inconsistent performance, and delayed response time.

So here are the average number of hours of sleep for different ages:

Babies up to 6 months need 16-20 hours, roughly divided equally between night and day.
6-12 months need 3 hours in the day and 9-11 hours at night.
Preschoolers to 12 years need 10-12 hours at night.

I know for some of you, you see this as an impossible dream. But with science and experience to back it up, we should be doing all we can to make enough good sleep for our children one of our goals. Think about solutions that will give your children more uninterrupted sleep. If you make some changes that work, I’d like to hear from you: Diane