Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

You are here: Home / Archives for parenting

What Dads Bring to Parenting

By

Children who grow up with mom and dad parenting together have the advantages of two different ways of responding to the world they live in. They are much more likely to complete high school, not get involved in drugs and other risky behaviors, and be ready to be productive citizens than children with absent or ineffective parents.

So what are dads particularly good at teaching their children?

Exploring with enthusiasm. Dads encourage their kids to explore their environment with excitement and curiosity and less fear.

Healthy self-confidence. Dads urge their children to expand their strength, skill, and endurance. Kids find out what they are capable of doing. Dads seldom tell their child what won’t work. They let their kids try to master a skill before stepping in to help.

Real-life consequences. Dads allow real-life consequences to teach right and wrong behavior.  “If you don’t share your toys with your friend, he won’t want to play with you again.”

Bigger, better vocabulary. Dads use more ‘grown-up’ language early and challenge their kids to build their vocabulary.

Image of real manhood. Dads affirm the masculinity of their sons and show them how to use their strength and masculinity in positive ways. They show their daughters how to respond to boys and men and what to expect from them.

Kids need both a mom and dad. Dads, your input and influence in your children’s lives bring about a huge decrease in juvenile delinquency, school drop-out, and other unhealthy behavior choices. Be present and active in your kids’ lives. You make a huge difference!

Read more in: How Important is Dad?

Is Good Good Enough?

By Leave a Comment

With so many sources of information and mis-information, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and insufficient. There is no area of our lives where we are as vulnerable as in our mothering.

We have had years of instruction in most other areas of life, but rarely any formal training in parenting. We may have had some classes in birthing, but what about after that screaming bundle of needs is in our arms? We are usually pretty much left on our own to discover how to be a mom.

Our culture is more child-centered than when our parents were raising us. We feel more pressured to do everything right. We live with the fear that no matter how our child turns out, all his flaws will be our fault. We don’t want to hear the criticism, so we strive to be “perfect.”

Add to this, the experience we had in our own home growing up. If it was good, we want to copy that and find, to our frustration, it isn’t possible in our fast-paced world. If it was not good, we try to do the opposite and often find ourselves repeating the faults or erring to the other extreme.

So we look for reassurance that we are good moms. But is good good enough?

As Christians we have some help.

God was the perfect parent, and look how his first two kids turned out! Being perfect wouldn’t promise our children would be any better than His.

God created the whole universe and everything in it. His commentary about it was, “It is good.” He was satisfied with His creation being good, not great or perfect. So good is good enough.

We are not left on our own to figure out how to parent our own children. God promises that if we ask for wisdom, He will surely give it to us. His wisdom goes beyond what we can see with our eyes to what is in the heart. We only have to ask.

He has the perfect solution for our failures. He promises that if we confess our sins, He will forgive us and cleanse us from unrighteousness. He teaches us to be humble and admit our sins and to make amends wherever possible. So we can confess to our children when we do something wrong and ask their forgiveness, as well as God’s. Children are so forgiving and gracious. And it teaches them how to handle their own failures.

And we can ask God to fill the needs our children have that we are not capable to fill. He has provisions we cannot even imagine!

Remember:

  • You are the best mom for your children. No one else could do it better than you. Really!
  • You know them best of anyone. Your ‘instincts’ plus God’s prompting will help you know if you should do something differently.
  • Share your concerns and your frustrations with another mom. You’ll soon learn you are not alone!
  • Your kids will grow out of the ‘stage’ they are in now. They will get past these issues.
  • No matter what: pray, pray, pray! God is Faithful and He will answer.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Diane

5 Truths that will Transform Your Parenting

By

Transform-Parenting-croppedI found Sarah Ann’s web site some years ago and was blessed by what she had written. Sarah gave me permission to reprint this article in this web site. YourChildsJourney.com.

These are truths that are so freeing when we believe them. I have shared these same ideas in parenting seminars before. But Sarah wrote this so well, I wanted to share these in her words. I hope you are as blessed by this as I have been.

5 Truths that will Transform Your Parenting

Motherhood.

It’s the greatest blessing wrapped into one messy and sleep-deprived adventure. From reading books to bandaging knees, motherhood is filled with moments of pure joy and precious memories to treasure for a lifetime.

But I found out early in my parenting, after my daughter was diagnosed with Autism, that I was making motherhood more difficult than it needed to be.

In my desire to be a “good mom”, I was wrapping myself in a cocoon of stress rather than savoring those sweet memories of her childhood.

It was then, wondering how my role as mom would change as we charted this new territory, that my view of parenting shifted and was changed forever. The gift of clarity that came from learning about my child’s condition lifted the fog from my eyes and I learned to savor what motherhood was about.

These simple truths can transform your parenting, too. When you view parenting through these truths, your perspective will shift forever!

  1. You’re not perfect.

As moms, we try to feign some resemblance of perfection. We are so desperate for other women to think we excel at motherhood, and we put on a mask of perfection that prohibits others from seeing our true selves.

When we take off the mask and expose ourselves for who we are, moms that fumble through life and sometimes struggle to stay afloat, we create unity and transparency with others. Our fellow moms who watch us juggle life from the outside, will be thrilled to see the reality of our parenting woes. Not ruled by mean ambition or ill-will, others will be relieved that we’re human and that we struggle at times, too.

Underneath our shrouds of perfection, we’re terrified of messing up our kids and praying that our best will be good enough in the end, even though as moms, sometimes we struggle with managing our own feelings, including mom anger.

  1. Parenthood is not a competition or a Pinterest post.

From over-the-top birthday parties to elaborate vacation plans, moms unknowingly compete to be the best and have the best. Instead of building others up, moms tend to disdainfully judge every aspect of another family’s life.

Yet that’s not what wants God from us.

He calls us to show love by being respectful, no matter how another chooses to parent or whether or not she feeds her family an all organic diet.

What is right for your family may not be right for another, so call off the cavalry and stop competing with each other!

  1. A season of difficulty does not define your child or your parenting.

When in a season where your child has let you down {if they haven’t yet- they will!}, remember that this does not define your child or your ability to parent. There will be moments and seasons of struggle, disobedience, and rebellion as he/she finds their way in the world.

  • Hit your knees and pray for guidance; trusting that God will be faithful to reveal your next steps on your journey through parenthood.
  • Draw strength and peace from His Word alone, trusting that He is working in the heart and life of your child.
  • Allow yourself to grow as a parent and for God to refine your character through this trial as well.

These truths will change your parenting, even on the hard days.

  1. Give more grace to your child than they deserve.

It’s human nature to want to hold a grudge and to turn a cold shoulder to those who have hurt or wronged us in some way. Parenting is no different, and it can be tempting to carry around anger and resentment against a child who has consistently done wrong.

Instead of acting in the flesh, give more grace to your little offender than he/she deserves. Be gracious to your child when they stumble, modeling the grace offered freely at the cross to you. After all, your child is a sinner, too, and it’s your job to point them to Jesus in action and in words.

  1. God gave your child to YOU for a reason.

In those times your parenting journey is tough and overwhelming, it can be easy to question what God is doing.

Remember, He hand-picked YOU to be your child’s parent and has equipped YOU to thrive in that role.

Grab your Bible, the greatest parenting book of all, and pray specifically for strength, wisdom, and grace to penetrate every fiber of your being.

May you learn to radiate the love of Jesus to your child, and to be an example of the hands and feet of Jesus as you trust that God does not make mistakes.

May He who placed you with your family members lavish you with joy on the journey of parenthood, today and always.

____________________________

Thank you, Sarah Ann for sharing this wonderful article with us.

Blessings!

Diane

Save

You Are Not a Perfect Parent

By

Since You Cannot be a Perfect Parent:

  1. Don’t even try to give your kids everything. They won’t be scarred by not having the latest and greatest stuff
  2. Be willing to listen to what teachers and other adults have observed about your child. From their perspective of your child, they may have solutions you cannot see.
  3. Acknowledge when you did it wrong and ask your kid to forgive you. You won’t lose face. You model for them how to admit when they were wrong.
  4. Get involved with your child’s school PTA. Be aware of what is happening in the school. Speak up about issues that affect the children. You will help not just your child, but many others.

You are Not a Perfect Parent, But:

  1. You do know when something is wrong with your child. Get whatever help you need for your child.
  2. You know what you don’t want your children to be exposed to. Set limits that protect them.
  3. You can choose others you want to teach your children things you cannot teach them.
  4. Not rescuing your child from every misstep is actually teaching them essential lessons about integrity, responsibility, and values.

Other articles  on Your Child’s Journey.com that you might find helpful:

Save

Save

Save

Want Teens Who Will Talk to You?

By

If you want teens who will talk to you, you must learn to listen to them when they are little.

Little children want to tell you what they are thinking about. It may be hard to pay attention to one of their long stories. But setting aside something else to listen fully, shows them they are important to you. Many times, I found, if I paid attention when they wanted to talk, they would be content to play on their own for longer. If I was distracted or cut them off quickly, they would get my attention by getting into mischief. Your attention means the world to them.

Knowing you will listen, builds trust so they will tell you what they are thinking as they grow older. Listen for their response to what they are talking about. Take the time to ask some questions that give you a window into their world.

The table is where we become people in a relationship. Make your table a fun place to talk, as well as eat.

Watch for more tips on raising kids who will talk to you when they are teens.

 

 

Save