Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

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New Kid by Friday- part 2

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Last month I introduced some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday. In that letter I talked about his three pillars of your child’s self worth; Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence. Our parenting during our child’s infancy through preschool years sets the foundations for self worth. We show our acceptance and love even when we disapprove of his behaviour. Belonging to us, our family, and community is established as we treat him as special and teach him that he has responsibilities because he belongs to us. And we encourage his competence in tackling and succeeding in new tasks.

Another section of Dr. Leman’s book highlights the top 3 long-term concerns of parents: Attitude, Behaviour, and Character. For those of you who have infants, these concerns may sound like they are far off. Let me assure you, the time will pass all too quickly and you will be wanting a refresher on how to shape a child’s attitude, behaviour, and character.

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Flu and Colds

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We are in the midst of the flu season for 2012. Mike and I have fought both colds and flu this season already, so I’ve been doing some checking about what you can and should do to protect your family from the flu. Here’s what I could find out.

Flu shots
Although no one likes to get a shot, this is the only proven way to be protected against the most virulent and common flu virus for the year. Some people can use a flu nasal spray, but only your doctor can tell you if you qualify for the spray instead of the shot.

Flu vaccine is up-dated every year. So although you are immune to the virus in last year’s shot, that immunity won’t cover this year’s virus.

The flu shot does not cause you to get the flu since the virus is not live. If you were exposed around the time you took the shot though, you could still get it. There are a huge number of different flu viruses, so it is possible to get flu that wasn’t covered by the shot. You will have immunity to any flu in your flu shot or for any flu that you get.

It is not too late to get the shot. Until the last flu for the year has made its rounds in about May, you may still need the protection. [Read more…]

New Kid by Friday- part 1

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This month I have been reading a great book by Dr. Kevin Leman called Have a New Kid by Friday. Although it sounds like a quick-fix, self-help book, it is really well written and has such sound beliefs behind his teaching. He is a clinical psychologist, married for almost 40 years, and with experience raising 5 kids. He is a believer in Jesus and uses Biblical principles, though he doesn’t declare chapter and verse. I have been confirmed by this book in what I teach moms with young children. I want to share some of the principles from this book over the next few months when I send your monthly bulletin to you. Of course Dr. Leman has much more to say and lots more examples than I will ever be able to cover in this short email.

For those of you who have been receiving First Steps bulletins for a while, some of these points will be review. Dr. Leman has put these ideas in such easy to remember form that I want to share them again.

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Routines

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The holidays are finally over. Christmas, New Years, and Chinese New Years and all the fun and hard work is finished. The older kids are back in school and if you are working outside your home, you are commuting again.

This is the perfect time to consider your routines. Think about which ones are working and which ones cause more frustration.

  • Do you have a regular bedtime with enough sleep to wake naturally in the morning? If not, consider ways to create an earlier bedtime. Morning routines are easier when everyone is well rested.
  • Do you have a routine for getting everyone dressed, fed, and out the door on time in the morning? Maybe you need to consider setting out before bed, everything that will be needed in the morning. A basket by the door for each person is a way many families manage the morning rush.
  • Do you have a time that is yours with your Heavenly Father? Even a short time is better than no time. Consistency with this will put you in a better frame of mind for the rest of the day.
  • If you are working from home with a baby or small child, do you have a routine that allows for time and attention to your child and yet a way to complete your work? Perhaps sharing childcare with another SAHM would provide you both with some valuable time without your children.
  • Do you have a routine for meal planning and preparation? One of the handiest kitchen appliances we have is a slow cooker. It means the main dish is ready with just a short time putting together a side dish just before sitting down to eat. Steamers are another way to shorten preparation time. It takes a bit of planning, but reduces the time commitment for healthy, home-cooked food.
  • Do you have a plan for family time together every day? If you don’t plan it into your routine, the time will get chewed up by other more ‘urgent’ things. I heard someone say that if we spend more time on the important things in our life, we will have fewer urgent things to attend to. When we are running around ‘putting out fires,’ we miss time for the important people in our lives.

OK, I’m sure you get the idea. I’d love to hear about any changes you make in your routine that gives you more time for loving on your kids and letting your spouse know how much you love and appreciate them.

Last year I wrote a post about Goals you might like to read it as you consider changes in your routines. See: New Year Goals

The Positive Parent’s Creed

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A parenting plan with a future

We will let our children know we love them no matter what they do.

Our children will learn that love is not earned, love is freely given.

We will be honest about our mistakes, remembering to ask our children to forgive us when we fail them or misunderstand them.

Our children will learn the value of personal honesty instead of hypocrisy.

We will give each child some individual time and attention every day.

Our children will learn that they are important to us, not a nuisance that we endure.

We will listen to our children as well as talk to them.

Our children will learn that listening to one another is one of the most loving things we can do for each other.

We will help our children develop a genuine personal faith in God.

Our children will learn, through our example, the value of a genuine faith.

We will correctly love and lovingly correct.

Our children will learn that discipline is an expression of love.

We will teach proper relationship to authority.

Our children will learn that respect for authority is the key to a successful life.

We will encourage proper independence.

Our children will develop a strong conscience.

They will learn to withstand and overcome the negative pressures around them.