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Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

You are here: Home / Archives for Diane Constantine

Is Good Good Enough?

May 7, 2015 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

With so many sources of information and mis-information, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and insufficient. There is no area of our lives where we are as vulnerable as in our mothering.

We have had years of instruction in most other areas of life, but rarely any formal training in parenting. We may have had some classes in birthing, but what about after that screaming bundle of needs is in our arms? We are usually pretty much left on our own to discover how to be a mom.

Our culture is more child-centered than when our parents were raising us. We feel more pressured to do everything right. We live with the fear that no matter how our child turns out, all his flaws will be our fault. We don’t want to hear the criticism, so we strive to be “perfect.”

Add to this, the experience we had in our own home growing up. If it was good, we want to copy that and find, to our frustration, it isn’t possible in our fast-paced world. If it was not good, we try to do the opposite and often find ourselves repeating the faults or erring to the other extreme.

So we look for reassurance that we are good moms. But is good good enough?

As Christians we have some help.

God was the perfect parent, and look how his first two kids turned out! Being perfect wouldn’t promise our children would be any better than His.

God created the whole universe and everything in it. His commentary about it was, “It is good.” He was satisfied with His creation being good, not great or perfect. So good is good enough.

We are not left on our own to figure out how to parent our own children. God promises that if we ask for wisdom, He will surely give it to us. His wisdom goes beyond what we can see with our eyes to what is in the heart. We only have to ask.

He has the perfect solution for our failures. He promises that if we confess our sins, He will forgive us and cleanse us from unrighteousness. He teaches us to be humble and admit our sins and to make amends wherever possible. So we can confess to our children when we do something wrong and ask their forgiveness, as well as God’s. Children are so forgiving and gracious. And it teaches them how to handle their own failures.

And we can ask God to fill the needs our children have that we are not capable to fill. He has provisions we cannot even imagine!

Remember:

  • You are the best mom for your children. No one else could do it better than you. Really!
  • You know them best of anyone. Your ‘instincts’ plus God’s prompting will help you know if you should do something differently.
  • Share your concerns and your frustrations with another mom. You’ll soon learn you are not alone!
  • Your kids will grow out of the ‘stage’ they are in now. They will get past these issues.
  • No matter what: pray, pray, pray! God is Faithful and He will answer.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Diane

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: attitudes, parenting

Importance of Strong Foundations

April 1, 2015 By Diane Constantine

This article was written by: Amanda Morgan. Please visit her site to read more of this article and see others she has written at: NotJustCute.com

Why Early Learning Matters!

Passionate about early education and child development, I find foundations to be particularly interesting.  Their function is critical. They’re carefully designed, prepared, inspected, formed, poured, reinforced, inspected again, sealed….. and then, after all of that, almost totally covered back up with dirt.

I am anxious to see a home standing in that spot of dirt. Not lines of cement. I want a home I can cook in, sleep in, gather in, live in. And I’d love to see that home spring up right now.

But not so much that I’d skip building the foundation.

The foundation is what keeps us firmly planted. A house doesn’t just sit on the foundation, it’s securely attached. Every 18 inches around the perimeter of the house there’s a large bolt embedded in the cement that affixes to the floor of the house.  In addition to that, there are multiple steel straps, each of them several feet long, that are also embedded in the cement foundation and later attached to the walls of the house with an almost ridiculous number of fasteners.

All of this connection keeps the home safe when the wind and rain come (and boy do they come!) or should an earthquake ever surface.

Like the foundation for our homes, the early years of a child’s development are a critical time of preparation.

The tasks of early development are often unseen or unrecognized by others. More commonly identified as play, this work of singing, climbing, running, pretending, painting, talking, and listening, is more powerful than its simplicity implies. Each activity is laying the foundation for future learning.

Children singing songs and listening to stories are building critical pre-reading skills — skills that are not just nice, but necessary for them to become readers. Little fingers lining up cars on a mat are building the fine motor skills that will allow them later to hold pencils and master keystrokes. At the same time, this play-work is also helping them build concepts of numeracy, such as a one-to-one ratio as they move cars one by one, or the ability to sort by attributes as red cars and blue cars find separate parking lots, or the ability to compare quantities as they realize their friends have more or less cars piled up than do they. All of these skills need practice and hands-on construction before we introduce the later math concepts that often play out on grade-school worksheets.

In addition to all of that, this foundation of play and exploration prepares children with the gifts of wonder and social problem-solving. These are gifts that are built through experience, not by lecture. And it is these gifts that open the door to all later learning.

Those unable to see the foundation of early learning for what it is are often eager to plop something down that’s more rewarding.  Just as I may be happy to skip right to the home I can see, they want to go directly to the seen skills like reading rather than pre-literacy skills and mathematical computations instead of early numeracy. This is the learning that “counts”, after all.

But just as our framers needed the assurance of a well-prepared foundation, our young children need a solid, deep foundation in hands-on exploration and play to prepare them for later skills.  As I’ve said before, watching a child take words from a page and turn them into a spoken story is magical to watch — like seeing a house come up where there was once nothing — but before you can put the work and effort into decoding, you have to build the foundation with things like language, phonemic awareness, and  concepts of print.

As literacy experts, Irene Fountas and Gay Su Pinnell, stated in their book, Literacy Beginnings: A Prekindergarten Handbook:

“The knowledge that forms the foundation for reading and writing is built throughout early childhood through play, language, and literary experiences.”

Learning foundations are built through play and experience. And we can’t afford to skip that.  A push-down curriculum isn’t helping kids to get ahead, it’s simply ignoring the critical role of the foundation.

The metal straps and bolts of the foundation secure our home and keep it firm in the face of storms and tremors, and a strong foundation does the same for our young learners. A lack of foundational skills weakens our learners as they move on to more and more challenging work. Often, those who struggle in later grades with reading, do so because they lack foundational skills that begin early on like phonemic awareness or story comprehension. Math woes begin when we fail to start with a foundation of number sense and numeracy through hands-on activities.   (The Number Bag is one of my favorite techniques to use in the preK classroom.)

Those straps and bolts are also a reminder that a house isn’t built in independent levels. There’s an interconnection. The house isn’t just set down onto the foundation, it grows out of it. Likewise, strong foundational learning gives root to later learning as basic concepts create connections necessary for inquiry and growth.

When children are allowed the time and space to build strong foundations, the skills built later on come more easily and solidly.  We owe children the opportunity to build strong foundations in ways that are developmentally appropriate. Let’s reject the notion that we have to leave childhood behind in order to get ahead.  Let’s be builders.

Filed Under: Preschooler, Toddler Tagged With: early learning, foundations

What is an Intense Child?

March 26, 2015 By Diane Constantine

This is one of a series of articles from RaisingLifeLongLearners.com. If this article describes your child, please go to Coleen Kessler’s site to read the whole series or sign up for her weekly newsletter.

If you have an intense child, you probably know it. Call them spirited, emotionally intense, difficult, high needs, or challenging…it doesn’t matter.

You know them and you’re tired. And defeated. And sure you’re doing everything all wrong because those parenting books other parents swear by just don’t work for you.

The intense child is more – more emotional, more energetic, more sensitive, more empathetic, more focused, more distracted, more, more, more – than other children.

Characteristics of an Intense Child

If you’re still struggling to determine whether your child is intense or just ill-behaved like everyone seems to think, take a few minutes to look through these characteristics. Do you see your child described? You’re probably dealing with an emotionally intense kiddo that just needs a different parenting approach. Let’s problem solve together.

An intense child is:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: intense, spirited

A Handful of Fun

March 26, 2015 By Diane Constantine

Why Sensory Play is Important for Preschoolers

This article is by Amanda Morgan. She has her masters degree in early childhood development and trains parents and teachers. But she also is a mom with four sons who teach her something new every day. Please stop by her site:  www.notjustcute.com.  You can also sign up for her monthly newsletter.

Think of your average preschooler. How long has this child been proficient with language? Depending on the age, the child may not really be too proficient yet!  Others seem to have been talking non-stop since 2 1/2, but that means they’ve been talking now for all of…..about a year! Now think of how long these children have been seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling, and tasting.  Their whole lives! Children are wired to receive and utilize sensory input from day one. This is why children will dive in hands first, exploring a new substance. The senses are their most familiar, most basic way to explore, process, and come to understand new information.

This is why we must allow young children to learn through experience, not just lecture. These children need to use their senses and be engaged in meaningful experiences. As we talk with them about what they are observing and sensing, we give them new language tools to connect with these more familiar sensory tools, building language as well as supporting cognitive concepts specific to the experience.

Now, the flip side to this equation is important to remember as well. Just as children learn through their senses, they also are developing the ability to use those senses and are building the neurological pathways associated with each one. With added sensory experiences, combined with the scaffolding of adults and peers, children become more perceptive. Their sensory intake and processing becomes more acute. As they are better able to use their senses, they are then better able to learn through their senses.

Sensory play is really part of the scientific process. Whether out loud or within the internal dialogue of the mind, children have developed a question, leading them to investigate-by grabbing, smelling, listening, rubbing, staring, licking , what have you! They are using their senses to collect data and from that, attempt to answer their own questions. Whether or not young children are always able to verbally communicate this process, it is still a valid exercise in scientific inquiry.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Preschooler, Toddler Tagged With: learning, play, sensory

Positive Parent’s Creed

March 5, 2015 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

With the beginning of Spring around the corner, I thought this was a good time to review some of our foundational principles and practices that will help us to be the best parents we can be to the children God has given us.

My husband wrote this Positive Parent’s Creed many years ago and we feel it has stood the test of time in our own parenting and now in your generation of parents. Please consider each one. If you have questions or comments you’d like to make about any of them, please feel free to email me. I’ll be happy to discuss them with you.

The Positive Parent’s Creed

We will let our children know we love them no matter what they do.

* Our children will learn that love is not earned, love is freely given.

We will be honest about our mistakes, remembering to ask our children to forgive us when we fail them or misunderstand them.

* Our children will learn the value of personal honesty instead of hypocrisy.

We will give each child some individual time and attention every day.

*Our children will learn that they are important to us, not a nuisance that we endure.

We will listen to our children as well as talk to them.

* Our children will learn that listening to one another is one of the most loving things we can do for each other.

We will help our children develop a genuine personal faith in God.

* Our children will learn, through our example, the value of a genuine faith.

We will correct our children with love.

*Our children will learn that discipline is an expression of love.

We will teach proper relationship to authority.

*Our children will learn that respect for authority is the key to a successful life.

We will encourage proper independence.

*Our children will develop a strong conscience. They will learn to withstand and overcome the negative pressures around them.

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: parenting, practices, principles

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