Transition and adjustments. In this time of transition while your baby adjusts to life outside the womb, you and your family are adjusting to life with a newborn. As in all times of transition, give each other a little more consideration and lots of encouragement. [Read more…]
You want your kids to be honest, fair, caring, and thoughtful of others. Right?
There’s truth in the old adage: Kids do what you do, not what you say.
Your children learn ethical values and behaviors by watching you. You want to model humility, honesty, fairness, and so on. Yet you know you cannot be perfect all the time. It is so important that they hear you acknowledge your mistakes and weaknesses and see you work hard to correct them. This is a much more powerful example than you lecturing on ethics.
So when you don’t live up to the model you want your kids to copy, use these are opportunities to talk with them about it. You don’t lose face, you gain their respect. They will follow your example.
I wrote the following as part of an article in the late ‘80s. Your baby may be very small and you don’t yet realize how hard it is to listen to a toddler’s long stories. Or your little child may keep trying to do things that seem silly or scary to you. Maybe some of the ideas in this article will help you cultivate creativity instead of stifling a gift God wants your child to develop.
Seldom a Discouraging Word
When Mike and I were courting, he knew that I was shy and didn’t like to do anything new. In fact, my fears made me rigid. Although flexibility is important for marriage, Mike looked beyond that lack and saw potential. God gave him wisdom to help me to get out of my prison. He didn’t dynamite the foundation and leave me fully exposed to the world I feared. At first Mike only built steps so I could peek over the top and see a whole world of new possibilities. God created in me a desire to feel the fresh breezes and sunshine, to try something new, to expand my horizons.
When I expressed an interest in doing something new, Mike would reply, “Why not?” I’d have reasons ready for him, but he would show me that my reasons weren’t real. Seeing the truth set me free and little by little the walls came down. Mike’s encouragement was the key that released me to fulfill the desires God had put in my heart.
Some time ago I read Edith Schaeffer’s book, What is a Family? One chapter describes the family as “the birthplace of creativity.” She caused me to think about all the opportunities we have to discourage or encourage those around us to fulfill their God-given creative potential. This is one of her statements: “Parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and sisters and brothers can . . . stamp out, ridicule, and demolish the first attempts at creativity, and continue this demolition long enough to cripple spontaneous outbursts of creation.”
Most of us have experienced this kind of discouragement. For example, many students hate Speech class. Why? For years they have heard that what they say doesn’t make sense, or that it is stupid. Many of us would never try our hand at painting, not even in the secrecy of our own homes. Criticism has conditioned us to believe we will fail.
Perhaps our family life was good. People didn’t set out to hurt us. They were just doing what had been done to them. Thankfully, we don’t have to perpetuate the damage. We can establish an atmosphere of trust that allows everyone in the family to develop their talents fully.
Encouraging Creativity
Not stifling the creativity of a child is especially important. The capacity for genius may be hidden in the child until someone takes the time and patience to cultivate it. Those first efforts at drawing may not seem spectacular, but given the encouragement of a loving family, they may develop into a talent that will bless many.
When we lived in Africa, one of our American friends used her artistic talent to transform the atmosphere of their dull, dreary apartment. Due to the lack of good materials, it’s not easy to decorate a home in Nigeria. Using very simple methods and only what paint was available, she turned a large wall in her living room into a mural. She could have painted a scene of snow-capped mountains or autumn leaves. Instead, using only black paint, she created a striking silhouette of an African woman. It broke the monotony of the white walls, and showed her love for her new African friends as well.
Encouraging Adventure
Many new pursuits begin when we find the courage to talk about them. We must have the freedom to share our hopes and dreams. We need someone to listen to our “wild ideas.” A steady diet of words like, “That’s impossible!” or “Don’t be crazy!” soon closes the door to communication. Positive questions, on the other hand, open the door to new ideas.
When I was fifteen, I asked my mom what she thought about my going to South America for the summer as an exchange student. Immediately she called a travel agent to find out how much an air ticket would cost. I was stunned! She hadn’t laughed at me. Instead, she was seriously trying to see if there was any way to afford it.
That summer I spent in South America planted the desire to live overseas later in life. That seed, sowed in my fifteenth summer, bore fruit that has affected hundreds of lives in other countries and cultures.
The response we receive to our first effort at a new endeavor means everything. Will we continue developing our desires or will we crawl away in defeat? A friend’s understanding and honesty can make the difference.
Writing has not come easily for Mike or me, although he had some positive experiences in high school and college, and I didn’t. Today, we sometimes edit articles for each other. If we are too critical, not giving encouragement, the joy of writing dies before the spark of inspiration bursts to full flame. But if we start by looking at the idea and the general design, we inspire each other. That first positive response is so important. Once we see that the idea will work, the excitement and pleasure will carry us through the tedious process of editing and rewriting.
The friendly, supportive, responsive family life we share in our home has made it possible for me to leave the fortress of my fears. Now I rejoice in the freedom of accepting new challenges and learning new skills.
How many new steps have you encouraged your husband, wife, or children to make this year? The Lord is the Master Creator. Just look at the beautiful world He made. He made us to be creative, too. Make it your family’s goal to encourage new steps and new ventures. That kind of encouragement could release your child from his inner prison into new freedom and fulfillment.
I’d love to hear your responses to this article and how this works in your family.
Read more on Creative Kids
You begin by making purees, a few at a time. Divide each into potions and freeze them for use in the recipes.
For apples, berries, cantaloupe, cherries and pineapple, just wash, cut the fruit and puree in a food processor or blender for about 2 minutes. (Instead of fresh berries, cherries, or pineapple, you can use frozen or canned without syrup.)
For avocados and bananas, all that is necessary to make the purees is to mash them well until they are smooth and then puree in a food processor or blender for about 2 minutes.
For beets, leave them whole, wrap them in foil and roast at 400°F (200°C) for 1 hour or until they can be pierced with the tip of a sharp knife. Peel and puree in a food processor or blender for about 2 minutes.
Sweet potatoes can be prepared just like beets or steamed. Broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, peas, bell peppers, spinach and zucchini and summer squash can all be steamed too. Prepare each of these veggies as listed below and steam them for the appropriate length of time. When cooked, puree them in a food processor or blender for 2 minutes or until smooth and creamy (add a few teaspoons of water if necessary to get the right texture).
All of these veggies can be cooked in a microwave oven with a little water and covered loosely with microwave-safe plastic wrap or lid or waxed paper. Since every microwave is different, you will need to experiment with the length of time for cooking each vegetable.
Let the warm purees cool and package them in either 1/4 cup (60cc) or 1/2 cup (120cc) portions. These can be refrigerated in small sandwich bags to use within a few days or frozen in freezer bags for longer storage. Be sure to label each bag with the fruit or vegetable, the amount, and the date. Use the oldest first.
When ready to use, thaw frozen purees in a microwave or bowl of hot water until soft. Snip the corner of the bag and squeeze out this instant nutrition boost to any of these recipes or to store-bought sauces.
Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld offers simple secrets to get kids eating good food.
Jessica starts her book with, “I had tried everything, and yet all my efforts to feed my family were being undermined by a powerful force: vegetables. Mealtimes were reduced to a constant pushing and pulling, with me forever begging my kids to eat their vegetables, and them protesting unhappily. Instead of laughing and having fun with my family, I was irritated and stressed as I labored to coerce them to eat food they found ‘disgusting.’ I couldn’t take it any more. I just wanted a little peace around the dinner table.”
If this sounds familiar to you, this method and some of the recipes in this book may restore peace to your dinner table too.
She goes on to say, “Then, one evening while I was cooking dinner, pureeing butternut squash for the baby and making mac and cheese for the rest of us, I had the crazy idea of stirring a little of the puree into the macaroni. And so I did. The colors matched–you couldn’t really see the squash in there–and the texture was perfect. So I stirred a little more, tasting to make sure the flavor of the squash didn’t overpower the cheese. Feeling only a little guilty that I was tricking my children, I stirred in enough of the squash to feel satisfied that I was giving them a respectable portion of vegetables.
“And then I held my breath.
“It worked! The kids, entirely innocent of my deceit, plowed happily through their dinners. I was beside myself with joy. I couldn’t stop smiling at the knowledge that my kids had eaten vegetables without a word from me. My husband, Jerry, was dying to know what all my smiling was about. It was the first meal in a very long time during which I hadn’t said, ‘Eat your vegetables,’ even once. And that was pure pleasure.”
From time to time I will be adding recipes that I think you will enjoy trying with your kids. The first step is making the purees that are the secret to adding nutrition to your kids favorite foods.
Directions for making these delicious Purees.