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Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

You are here: Home / Archives for Resources

ADHD Expressed

May 4, 2017 By Diane Constantine

Take my hand and come with me,
I want to teach you about ADHD.
I need you to know, I want to explain,
I have a very different brain.
Sights, sounds, and thoughts collide.
What to do first? I can’t decide.
Please understand I’m not to blame,
I just can’t process things the same.
Take my hand and walk with me,
Let me show you about ADHD.
I try to behave, I want to be good,
But I sometimes forget to do as I should.
Walk with me and wear my shoes,
You’ll see its not the way I’d choose.
I do know what I’m supposed to do,
But my brain is slow getting the message through.
Take my hand and talk with me,
I want to tell you about ADHD.
I rarely think before I talk,
I often run when I should walk.
It’s hard to get my school work done,
My thoughts are outside having fun.
I never know just where to start,
I think with my feelings and see with my heart.
Take my hand and stand by me,
I need you to know about ADHD.
It’s hard to explain but I want you to know,
I can’t help letting my feelings show.
Sometimes I’m angry, jealous, or sad.
I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad.
I can’t concentrate and I lose all my stuff.
I try really hard but it’s never enough.
Take my hand and learn with me,
We need to know more about ADHD.
I worry a lot about getting things wrong,
Everything I do takes twice as long.
Everyday is exhausting for me…
Looking through the fog of ADHD.
I’m often so misunderstood,
I would change in a heartbeat if I could.
Take my hand and listen to me,
I want to share a secret about ADHD.
I want you to know there is more to me.
I’m not defined by it, you see.
I’m sensitive, kind and lots of fun.
I’m blamed for things I haven’t done.
I’m the loyalist friend you’ll ever know,
I just need a chance to let it show.
Take my hand and look at me,
Just forget about the ADHD.
I have real feelings just like you.
The love in my heart is just as true.
I may have a brain that can never rest,
But please understand I’m trying my best.
I want you to know, I need you to see,
I’m more than the label, I am still me!!!!

~Author Unknown

Filed Under: Resources Tagged With: AD(H)D, poem

Baby Expressions

November 30, 2016 By Diane Constantine

Have you been observing your baby or child to know them even better? Do you know how he/she reacts to tastes, smells, noise, smiles, hugs, strangers, and being alone? I’m sure you already kn0w the answers to many of these.

Some of these preferences are based in their personality and won’t change much throughout life. But others may change very often. What they liked yesterday, they may hate today. Their choice of toys and games they play with you changes very quickly too. So stay flexible and alert.

Though little babies do not understand your words, they do understand your tone. So, as you notice something about them, talk about it. Say things like, “I see you really like bananas today. Bananas are yummy.” Or “Ah, so you don’t want to play Peek-a-Boo right now. This Little Piggy is your favorite game today.” As you practice reflecting out loud what you are observing about your baby and child, you build bridges with them. They will feel more connected to you and your parent-child relationship strengthens.

scared-baby
What is he trying to tell you?
active-sleep-baby
How asleep is she?

I have a fun exercise for you to try now. There are different levels of consciousness that you can observe even in little babies. Go to, States of Consciousness, with pictures of these levels of consciousness. Try to match the pictures with the descriptions. See how well you do. Then be aware of how your baby demonstrates these levels of consciousness. (Note: Both parents should try this!)

Then go to:  Baby Emotions. Since babies cannot tell you in words, it is important we can identify their facial expressions. See how well you do at recognizing these Baby Emotions. Be sure to tell your baby what you observe. They will learn the words for the emotions they feel as you continue to use the correct words. Of course, sometimes you will miss it entirely. That’s OK, keep practicing and you will get better at this non-verbal communication.

The Gottman Institute calls these exercises, building love maps. As we gain knowledge of each other and each of our children, we have a better ‘map’ to their heart. Do whatever you can, even in small ways, to build your understanding and create meaningful connections. It’s an idea with a great future investment.


For more articles on Parenting Together see:

  • Mom and Dad Together During Pregnancy.
  • If your baby is already born, you may want to go on to: How Important is Dad?

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Filed Under: All Ages, BBH, Resources, The Child-Ready Marriage Tagged With: awake, facial expressions, sleep

5 Truths that will Transform Your Parenting

August 5, 2016 By Diane Constantine

Transform-Parenting-croppedI found Sarah Ann’s web site, FaithAlongTheWay.com, and have been blessed by what she has written. Sarah gave me permission to reprint this article in First Steps this month and on our web site, YourChildsJourney.com.

These are truths that are so freeing when we believe them. I have shared these same ideas in parenting seminars before. But Sarah wrote this so well, I wanted to share these in her words. I hope you are as blessed by this as I have been.

5 Truths that will Transform Your Parenting

Motherhood.

It’s the greatest blessing wrapped into one messy and sleep-deprived adventure. From reading books to bandaging knees, motherhood is filled with moments of pure joy and precious memories to treasure for a lifetime.

But I found out early in my parenting, after my daughter was diagnosed with Autism, that I was making motherhood more difficult than it needed to be.

In my desire to be a “good mom”, I was wrapping myself in a cocoon of stress rather than savoring those sweet memories of her childhood.

It was then, wondering how my role as mom would change as we charted this new territory, that my view of parenting shifted and was changed forever. The gift of clarity that came from learning about my child’s condition lifted the fog from my eyes and I learned to savor what motherhood was about.

These simple truths can transform your parenting, too. When you view parenting through these truths, your perspective will shift forever!

  1. You’re not perfect.

As moms, we try to feign some resemblance of perfection. We are so desperate for other women to think we excel at motherhood, and we put on a mask of perfection that prohibits others from seeing our true selves.

When we take off the mask and expose ourselves for who we are, moms that fumble through life and sometimes struggle to stay afloat, we create unity and transparency with others. Our fellow moms who watch us juggle life from the outside, will be thrilled to see the reality of our parenting woes. Not ruled by mean ambition or ill-will, others will be relieved that we’re human and that we struggle at times, too.

Underneath our shrouds of perfection, we’re terrified of messing up our kids and praying that our best will be good enough in the end, even though as moms, sometimes we struggle with managing our own feelings, including mom anger.

  1. Parenthood is not a competition or a Pinterest post.

From over-the-top birthday parties to elaborate vacation plans, moms unknowingly compete to be the best and have the best. Instead of building others up, moms tend to disdainfully judge every aspect of another family’s life.

Yet that’s not what wants God from us.

He calls us to show love by being respectful, no matter how another chooses to parent or whether or not she feeds her family an all organic diet.

What is right for your family may not be right for another, so call off the cavalry and stop competing with each other!

  1. A season of difficulty does not define your child or your parenting.

When in a season where your child has let you down {if they haven’t yet- they will!}, remember that this does not define your child or your ability to parent. There will be moments and seasons of struggle, disobedience, and rebellion as he/she finds their way in the world.

  • Hit your knees and pray for guidance; trusting that God will be faithful to reveal your next steps on your journey through parenthood.
  • Draw strength and peace from His Word alone, trusting that He is working in the heart and life of your child.
  • Allow yourself to grow as a parent and for God to refine your character through this trial as well.

These truths will change your parenting, even on the hard days.

  1. Give more grace to your child than they deserve.

It’s human nature to want to hold a grudge and to turn a cold shoulder to those who have hurt or wronged us in some way. Parenting is no different, and it can be tempting to carry around anger and resentment against a child who has consistently done wrong.

Instead of acting in the flesh, give more grace to your little offender than he/she deserves. Be gracious to your child when they stumble, modeling the grace offered freely at the cross to you. After all, your child is a sinner, too, and it’s your job to point them to Jesus in action and in words.

  1. God gave your child to YOU for a reason.

In those times your parenting journey is tough and overwhelming, it can be easy to question what God is doing.

Remember, He hand-picked YOU to be your child’s parent and has equipped YOU to thrive in that role.

Grab your Bible, the greatest parenting book of all, and pray specifically for strength, wisdom, and grace to penetrate every fiber of your being.

May you learn to radiate the love of Jesus to your child, and to be an example of the hands and feet of Jesus as you trust that God does not make mistakes.

May He who placed you with your family members lavish you with joy on the journey of parenthood, today and always.

____________________________

Thank you, Sarah Ann for sharing this wonderful article with us.

Blessings!

Diane

____________________________

Sarah Ann has some excellent resources for moms and families.

  • Be sure to visit her web site: Faith Along the Way
  • When you can join her list for weekly encouragement she will offer one of her freebies.
  •  If you are struggling with anger, why not check out her on-line course, 7 Days to a Less Angry Mom, to help keep your emotions in check. With 7 videos and over 50 workbook pages to help you examine your true responses to motherhood frustrations, this course will help even the best of moms combat feelings of mom anger for good. With the early bird price of $29 and bonus videos to help you help your child, this is a resource every mom needs!

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Filed Under: All Ages, Resources Tagged With: attitudes, parenting

Is ADHD on the Rise or Over-diagnosed?

April 29, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

There is an increasing frequency of ADHD diagnosis. The New York Times has reported data collected from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which suggest that 11% of youth (between 4 and 17 years of age) have been diagnosed with ADHD at some point in their lifetime.

This is troubling – primarily because the data came from phone surveys of parents. This means that parents are receiving this diagnosis at unprecedented rates – not that kids are being properly diagnosed with ADHD at higher rates than before. It is too easy for kids to get labeled ADHD and not go through the comprehensive screening that should take place as administered by a multidisciplinary team of professionals.

It’s becoming clear that ADHD is being used as a label to try to provide a quick handle on behavior that may – or even may not – be somewhat troublesome. ADHD involves much more than not sitting still and not paying attention. All kids exhibit “ADHD” like behaviors now and then. It’s a difficult condition to diagnose because it is based on increased frequencies of a number of behaviors across a number of contexts (home and school) for a sustained period of time which cause impairment for the child. Without a detailed diagnostic process, it can be too easy to misread normative behaviors as symptoms of ADHD.

For a good over-all understanding of ADHD, causes, diagnosis, treatments, and therapies, please check the PsyCom.net information.

Filed Under: Resources Tagged With: AD(H)D, ADD, occurence, symptoms

Developmental Delays

January 26, 2013 By Diane Constantine 1 Comment

No one wants to think their baby is lagging behind in development! We hope our baby will be very clever and ahead of the developmental mile markers. Even if we see our child is lagging behind, it is hard to ask the questions because we are afraid of the answers. Most of the developmental delays can be overcome, especially if they are treated early and correctly. There is no shame in having a child who lags behind, but there is shame if you know it and do nothing about it. Please read about the delays. If you have questions, ask your baby’s doctor. If you are not satisfied, seek further evaluations and follow up on treatments. You are your child’s only advocate in these early years.


Physical Delays

For pictures and descriptions of the steps in  physical development, download this 8 page booklet. Pathways is used by permission.


Delayed Head Control

This may be the first sign of physical development delays. Please read our Tummy Time and Head Control page.


How to Get a Diagnosis

Step 1: Take Notes

Become the foremost researcher on your child, examining your subject in a variety of different environments and documenting all irregularities. If your child has recurring odd actions that alarm you, keep a diary of what, when and how long. If your child has emotional breakdowns or explosions, keep a chart to see if you can identify what sets them off. You want to be able to specifically document your concerns so that doctors have the most accurate idea of what’s going on and can make the most assured steps toward a diagnosis.

Step 2: Talk to Your Pediatrician

Chances are, your health insurer will require you to go through your pediatrician before tests and specialist visits anyway. But it’s just as well, because your child’s regular doctor will likely have useful insights and advice to give you. While you’re the ultimate expert in your child, the pediatrician is probably the medical professional who knows your child best — certainly better than the specialists who will pop in for a short time, look at one aspect of your child’s life, and see you again in a year. A good pediatrician with whom you have a comfortable rapport is a helpful person to have filtering all those reports and test results and guiding you as to what to do about them.

For more see: How to Get a Diagnosis


When a Doctor says, “Wait and see.”

So you’re worried about your child, and you’ve brought your concerns to your pediatrician, and your pediatrician has uttered the three least satisfying words in the English language: “Wait and See.” Welcome to Worry Limbo! For three or six or eight months, you will be neither relieved of your anxiety, nor empowered to do anything about it. If you’re more proactive than passive, give yourself the go-ahead to try these five calls to action. No waiting required!

1. Ask why.

What specifically will the doctor be expecting to happen or not happen over the course of the waiting period? Is there something in particular that you should be looking to “see”? What would be the downside of moving forward now instead of waiting? What is the significance of the amount of time that has been chosen for waiting? Can you check in sooner than that if your concerns increase? Make your doctor work for that co-pay!

To read the rest of the article and other articles on similar topics go to:specialchildren.about.com


 Early Intervention

Sometimes babies are born with a condition or special need that can affect their development. Other times a condition is not apparent at birth so over time, the parents or doctors begin to wonder if the child is developing appropriately.

In either situation, a child’s developmental abilities are evaluated. Once evaluated, the child is eligible to receive the therapy or other types of early intervention he/she needs and the family can get the support and education they need.

Early intervention means finding the specific ways to help a child become as functional as possible. In some situations, the therapy a child receives at an early age enables that child to reach developmental milestones on target or close to target. In other words, early intervention can sometimes help a child catch up to peers.

Early Intervention Helps a Child with Major Developmental Areas

Physical development- a child’s ability to move, see, and hear
Language and speech development- a child’s ability to talk, and communicate
Social and emotional development- a child’s ability to play, interact, and relate to others
Adaptive development- a child’s ability to handle self-care functions, such as feeding and dressing
Cognitive development- a child’s ability to think and learn

For questionnaires to assess your child’s feeding, speech, and motor skills and articles on developmental mile markers see: Day 2 Day Parenting.com


Bad Reasons to Avoid Early Intervention

So maybe your pediatrician has talked to you about getting early intervention services for your child, or you’ve let your doubts about your child’s development lead you into making a few phone calls about it. You’re worried about your child, but you’re also worried that getting help will mean there really is something wrong. These five reasons to skip EI may be nagging at you, tempting you to just go on and hope for the best. Don’t listen. They’re bad reasons. Here’s why.

1. I don’t want to label my child.
The “label” your child gets to qualify for early intervention doesn’t go on his “permanent record” — many kids go from EI right into regular education preschools and kindergartens. The idea is to label now so that there’s no need to label later. Because those labels that come later stick a lot harder.

2. My family thinks it’s a bad idea.
Mothers and fathers and in-laws and siblings are always full of advice, but as a parent, the buck stops with you. You spend more time observing your child than anyone, and if you have concerns, they need to be respected — if not by others, then absolutely by yourself. Follow your gut.

3. My child will catch up on her own.
Maybe, but you’re gambling with your child’s life here. When your child is five and still delayed, you’re not going to be able to dial things back and try early intervention. Early intervention will do no harm, and may do a great deal to help. Why take a chance when you don’t need to?

4. Children need to play and have fun, not do therapy.
Sending your child to early intervention is not like sending him to boot camp. It’s fun. Your child will think he’s playing as he does things to strengthen his motor skills and gain meaningful language. You’ll have fun watching it, too.

5. I’ll just work with my child myself.
Terrific! Work with your child yourself! There are lots of hours in the day. Doing early intervention doesn’t mean doing nothing else. You’ll still want and need to work with your child. But chances are the intervention therapists will be able to give you ways to do that so much more effectively.

For many more articles on related topics see: SpecialChildren.About.com


Resources available in the Klang Valley, Malaysia

Professionals for Diagnosis of Learning Difficulties in the Klang Valley, Malaysia

Resources for Special Needs Kids in the Klang Valley, Malaysia

Filed Under: Resources Tagged With: developmental delay, early intervention

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