Last month we talked about the need to warn unruly children. This month we talk about how to do that.
We can learn how to warn our children and enforce those warnings, no matter what our temperament is, or theirs. The key is to not allow yourself to become a passive parent. Here are some strategies that will help:
Be Definite in Your Warning
Indefinite warnings are wasted warnings. As an example,. which one of these parents will get the best results:
- Parent number one: “John, don’t be so naughty. If you don’t straighten up, you’re going to get it!”
- Parent number two: “Susie, do not hit your brother. If you hit your brother again, you will sit on your time out chair for ten minutes. Do you understand?”
If you picked the second warning, you are right. Little Susie will get the message. If she doesn’t, her parents will know exactly what to do.
A definite warning is much stronger than an empty threat. The second warning identifies the unruly behavior, states the parent’s expectation, and explains the consequences of disobedience. The first warning, though full of emotion, is vague. You can almost hear the shouting and feel the tension. But it doesn’t really say anything. John will probably ignore the first warning, and the parent who gave it will become very frustrated.