Baby is Born Curious

May 3, 2019 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

Babies are born curious. “Where do I end and the world begins?”

During the first three years of life, children are curious about everything. Whatever they see, they want to touch, turn over, stroke, taste, and throw. They want to figure out all they can about everything within reach.

Curiosity is the anticipation of learning. Curiosity urges your child to learn about what is in their world. When they are curious, the hippocampus, a part of the brain stores the information in long-term memory. Without curiosity and the testing your child does, they would be short on memories.

These memories will be tapped later to learn more about these subjects. All these memories are like hooks that they can hang need information on. Without a rich store of memories, your child would have a hard time learning in school.

Curiosity releases the pleasure chemical, dopamine, in their brain. This is the chemical that is related to reward and pleasure. Just being able to explore and satisfy their curiosity gives them pleasure. That’s why they find it so hard to leave one thing they are playing with to do something they think is less interesting.

Parents and child-minders can do much to help your little one prepare for later learning.

As much as possible, allow your little child to investigate whatever they are concentrating on. That means providing many things that are safe and interesting for them to explore. They may go back to the same things many times before their curiosity is satisfied.
Show you are interested, too, when they bring something to show you. Ask questions. Point to different parts or different ways it can be used. Your interest will stir their curiosity.
Talk about whatever they are doing or playing with. Before they are talking, they are still relating certain sounds with corresponding objects or experiences. You are helping to build their auditory vocabulary.
Don’t push learning about something they are not interested in at that time. Frustration and anger do not help learning.

During these early years, curiosity is natural and leads to learning that provides the basis for all learning throughout life.

Have fun watching your baby’s curiosity!

The Couple and Baby Class

March 10, 2019 By Diane Constantine

Do you want to childproof your marriage? You are invited to The Couple and Baby Class! Whether you are pregnant or you have a baby already, you and your spouse would benefit by taking this class.

Couple and Baby is an free online course for you and your spouse to take together to help strengthen you marriage for parenting. This is a very stressful time for every couple. There are tried and proven ways for you to ensure the best possible marriage and parenting experience.

Visit the Couple and Baby Class and learn more about the course and sign up to begin.

10 Ways to Help Newborns Sleep Better

July 13, 2018 By Diane Constantine

Part 2 of “Parents of Newborns Say. . . ” Series

“How can I get enough sleep . . .” You will not get enough sleep for the first few months after bringing a newborn home. But these tips will help baby sleep better and at better times. These are excerpts from Lauren Tamm at The Military Wife and Mom .com

Swaddle – Firmly wrapping baby keeps their startle reflex from wakening them frequently.
Dreamfeed -this is a feeding right before you go to bed, to help prevent the baby from waking up just after you finally drift off to sleep.
Limit the length of naps during the day. If the baby sleeps past the 2 – 2.5 hour mark, wake the baby up, feed him, keep him a wake for a bit, and then lay him down for another nap. Think: More daytime feeds = less nighttime feeds.
Use white noise – Baby will hear a soft regular sound nearby and will be less disturbed by noises from another part of the house.
Follow the eat, wake, sleep cycle. The baby wakes from sleep and immediately eats. Then the baby is awake for a while to play. Then the baby goes back to sleep….

This cycle has several purposes. First, it encourages full feedings by allowing the baby to eat immediately after waking. The baby will have the most energy immediately after waking, making him more inclined to take a full feeding and go longer between feedings. Also, by feeding the baby after sleep rather than before sleep, the cycle prevents the baby from associating food with sleep or using food as a sleep prop. When using this cycle, a feeding before bedtime is typically the only feeding before sleep.

Use a pre-nap and bedtime routines. It is well known that babies thrive on routine, structure, and predictability. Creating consistent routines for your baby will help bring order to a very chaotic world. Choose a pre-nap routine that works for you. A pre-nap routine may include taking the baby to his room, close the blinds or curtains, place the baby in his sleep sack or wearable blanket, turn on the white noise, sing a quick song (e.g. Twinkle, twinkle), give a few cuddles, and say your sleepy words “I love you. I hope you have a good sleep.”

A bedtime routine would typically be a little longer and may include a bath, a massage, reading a story, offering a feeding, placing the baby in a wearable blanket or swaddle, turning on the white noise, a few cuddles, and saying your sleepy words. Following the same exact routine as consistently as possible cues the baby for sleep, and over time the baby will learn that sleep immediately follows the nap and bedtime routines.

Change your baby’s diaper strategically – Changing the diaper before a middle of the night feeding prevents the baby from waking up too much after a feeding is finished.
Understand how a baby sleeps. Encourage lots of naps AND feedings during the day following the eat, wake, sleep cycle. Keeping a baby awake in hopes of tiring him out will actually result in over-stimulation, and he will experience both difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. It is very likely an over-tired baby will sleep shorter, not longer.
Don’t rush in… Give the baby some time and see if he will resettle himself. Avoid rushing in and disturbing this process in order to help your newborn baby sleep better.
Lay the baby down awake, but drowsy.

The most important way to encourage your baby to sleep well in the long run is to teach him to fall asleep independently, which is essentially the beginnings of teaching independent sleep.

To read the entire article and follow some additional links, click: The Military Wife and Mom .com

When to Call the Doctor

July 3, 2018 By Diane Constantine

I was reminded by the experience of one of our friends about fevers in babies and small children.

Fever in childhood can be common. There are lots of causes. Teething, a simple cold or flu, and even just excessive activity can bring on a low-grade fever. Making sure your child drinks plenty and gets rest will often see the temperature return to normal in a day or so.

But high fevers are nothing to take lightly with a baby or young child.

In the unlikely event that your child should run a high fever, it is good for you to know what to do and what not to do.

If your child feels warm to the touch, take their temperature. A rectal temperature is the most accurate, though under the arm will work. A fever over 100.4 degrees F. or 38 degrees C. must be reported to a doctor immediately. To help bring the fever down, a cool (not cold!) sponge bath can help keep the fever from rising dangerously high while you seek medical help. Do not give any medication until prescribed by a doctor.

A baby’s immune system is not ready to handle an infection on its own. The doctor will be able to advise treatment for the cause of the fever.

High fevers can trigger a febrile seizure or fit.

This is the primary reason to get the fever down as soon as possible. Usually, a child having a febrile seizure shakes all over and loses consciousness. Sometimes, the child may get very stiff or twitch in just one area of the body. They may vomit. The fit seldom lasts more than a couple minutes.

So here are a few tips on what to do if you come across a case of febrile fits with a baby or child:

Protect them by placing him/her on the floor or bed away from any hard or sharp objects.
Turn his/her head to the side so that any saliva or vomit can drain from their mouth.
Get medical help immediately.

Now for the good news!

Most children respond well to medication for the cause of any fever they get. Most children never have a febrile fit. And most who do have one, never have another one in their lives.

For more information about reasons to call your child’s doctor see: Symptoms to Call Your Doctor About

So What about Intimacy After Baby?

December 27, 2017 By Diane Constantine

Most couples find intimacy drops after baby arrives. The hormones that flood our brains immediately after baby’s arrival, actually lower our sex drive for a period of time. This gives us the energy to deal with the stresses of a new baby and healing after delivery and while nursing is established. But all too often, couples do not resume a satisfying sex life.

There are proven ways to reignite your sexual desire for your spouse and find a new or even better intimacy than before baby.

As we talked about in the first few lessons in this Child-Ready series, enriching your friendship is vital. It is easy to slip into the habit of just talking about work, chores, and stress. We become exhausted by all that needs to be done in a day and add to that interrupted nights’ sleep and it is a recipe for friction and isolation.

Intimacy is rooted in a good friendship. So make your friendship a priority. Continue learning about your spouse every day. Be sensitive to your spouse’s appeals for connection and respond in loving ways. Affirm your spouse and appreciate all they are doing.

Do little and thoughtful things for each other. These are not hard tasks that take a long time. They are finding ways to let your spouse know you love and appreciate them. It is showing you are aware of what they are facing and what they need. Of course we still need to do the big things, but it is the little extras that you do because you want to do them that makes your spouse feel they are worth your time, attention, and love.

Look for opportunities for non-sexual affection. Enjoy touching each other for the joy it brings. Relax in one another’s arms. Rediscover the pleasure of kissing. There is something powerful in creating the “just us” element in your relationship. Holding hands, hugs, and tender touch are great ways to affirm your love for your partner. Physical affection sets the stage for sexual touch that is focused on pleasure.

Make sex a priority. Schedule it sometimes so you can look forward to it. Anticipation is a great aphrodisiac. Other times grabbing a moment for a “quickie” lets our spouse know we still enjoy their lovemaking.

Discuss your needs, desires, and frustrations

The Masters talk about their needs, desires, and frustrations in love-making. It is awkward to talk about. But here are a few guidelines that will make these discussions helpful and not harmful.

Be kind and positive in the way you talk about love-making. Do not criticize! Mention successes, not failures.
Be patient. Give your spouse time to put their feelings into words. Let your spouse know that what they say is safe with you.
Be flexible. Be willing to try something new. Sometimes a small adjustment makes all the difference in our partner’s pleasure.
Find acceptable ways to let your spouse know you are interested in sex or that you are not. You may need a non-verbal signal to avoid misunderstanding cues. The fact is, every couple will miss the signals sometimes. Don’t make a federal case out of it. A cuddle instead of sex may be the best alternative this time or may even warm up the one who lacked interest in the beginning.

What you go through in the weeks and months after baby’s arrival is common to all parents. What you do to and for each other can make all the difference in coping with the changes. If you practice building your friendship, turning towards instead of away from your spouse, and dealing better with your conflicts; you can navigate the intimacy changes like a Master. Don’t just hope things will get better. Take action and get help if you need it.