Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

Introvert or Extrovert

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This month I am continuing with more from the book, Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. In this segment I’ll share another tool to help you better understand your child. Using your observations you can make adjustments to reduce the amount of friction in your family.

This month’s discussion is about Introvert and Extrovert. You may want to take a look at this survey. After you have used the tool for evaluating yourself and your spouse, come back to read some more so you may be better able to identify your child’s energy source.

“Traditionally the term introvert has been used to describe someone who is shy and socially unskilled. It’s important to remember that in psychological terms, introversion and extroversion do not describe social skills. They explain how we get our energy. Both introverts and extroverts can be very savvy interacting with people. Your child can be a very social extrovert, or a very social introvert. The key is what happens afterward. The introvert will be drained and ready for a nap or a quiet, solitary activity, whereas the extrovert will be wound up and ready for more action.”

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Temperament Survey

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This month I’ve been reading a very interesting book called Raising Your Spirited Child by  Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. My son sent me a copy of the book when we were trying to understand our grandson better. I have been most interested in the tools she provides for evaluating your child and yourself.

It is always good to be a student of your child. In this way you can help to mold his character and yet not break his will. Many of the problems we have with our child comes from misunderstanding needs and motivations. Knowing what the baseline is for both of you can help you to respond, instead of reacting, to your child. It can help you to plan ahead to avoid some explosions.

For the next few months, I will share some of the evaluating tools included in Raising Your Spirited Child. There is much more to the book. I would encourage you to get a copy if you find these tools interesting and helpful. The book is loaded with personal examples and ideas for dealing with problems arising from our basic makeups.

The first of the evaluators deals with temperament. This is even a bit more basic than personality which can be influenced by our experience, culture, education, and upbringing. These are in-born traits that can be identified at an early age and don’t change throughout life.

Why not take a look at these evaluation tools?  Child’s Temperament and Parent’s Temperament

I hope you find these as interesting as I did.

Making Purees for Deceptively Delicious Recipes

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You begin by making purees, a few at a time. Divide each into potions and freeze them for use in the recipes.

For apples, berries, cantaloupe, cherries and pineapple, just wash, cut the fruit and puree in a food processor or blender for about 2 minutes. (Instead of fresh berries, cherries, or pineapple, you can use frozen or canned without syrup.) [Read more…]

Raising Good Students

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This morning I read three different articles about the scholastic success of Asian students as opposed to the poor results of many American kids. The University of Pennsylvania, Columbia, Cornell, and Stanford boast about 1/4 of their top students are Asian. For the University of California at Berkley nearly 1/2 are Asian. 47% of Asians over 25 hold Bachelor’s degrees (compared to 27% overall), the median income for Asians is $10,000 higher than the median incomes of other ethnic groups, and 16% of Asians hold advanced degrees (compared to 9% overall).

At about the same time these statistics were published there were two books that hit the market about how Asian parents raise such high achieving children. The first one was Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, in which she audaciously claims that if American parents would follow her iron-fisted “Chinese mother” approach, their kids would be straight-A, concerto-playing, super-achievers like her two daughters. And the second was Bitter Melon, Cara Chow’s novel about a teenager girl coming-of-age under the thumb of a controlling, high-expectations immigrant mother. It explores the psychological dilemmas, and damage, that can result from extreme Chua-style parenting.

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Deliciously Deceptive

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While I was on home leave in December, I found a book full of great ideas for getting children to eat their veggies. Yes, there is help for those of you with children who would love the t-shirt our son got for Christmas one year. It said, “Vegetables are UGLY!” Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld, Dr. Seuss books, and stuffed toys were on sale for $5.00 each. I couldn’t resist! I could get $5.00 worth of good ideas out of any cookbook. But this one is worth a lot more to me and moms who can’t get their kids to eat their vegetables.

Jessica starts her book with, “I had tried everything, and yet all my efforts to feed my family were being undermined by a powerful force: vegetables. Mealtimes were reduced to a constant pushing and pulling, with me forever begging my kids to eat their vegetables, and them protesting unhappily. Instead of laughing and having fun with my family, I was irritated and stressed as I labored to coerce them to eat food they found ‘disgusting.’ I couldn’t take it any more. I just wanted a little peace around the dinner table.”
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