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Help for Kids with Irrational Fears

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Lisa C. Baker writes blog called, A Fine Parent.com. You can see her complete article at: Got Kids With Irrational Fears?

She begins the post with:

Don’t you think one of the most helpless and frustrating moments as a parent is when our kids have irrational fears, and nothing we say seems to make a difference?

It may be something common like the fear of darkness or monsters under the bed. Or something completely out of ordinary like the fear of ants, or everyday sounds, or imaginary little men living under the nightstand.

How can we help them overcome these fears?

For my daughter, it was an irrational fear of water. Even a splash on her leg from stepping in a puddle made her scream like she’d been cut with a knife. She ran away from dogs because she was afraid they would lick her. I could only bathe her with a sponge in a bucket in front of the TV to distract her. Once, she punched a one year old in the face because she was so afraid the baby would suck on its fingers and then touch her with wet hands.

Her 5 strategies are:

1. Validate your child’s emotions through empathy and calm confidence.

2. Reduce your child’s panic with mindful, sensory calming.

3. Challenge your child to test the edge of fear.

4. Spark your child’s imagination and creativity to challenge anxious thoughts.

5. Change your own thinking to match your child’s new found confidence.

She describes how she learned through trial and error and then with a book written by Lawrence Cohen called, The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears.

If your child is struggling with irrational fears, why not go to Lisa’s blog and read more about her strategies for helping her daughter deal with her fear of water.

If you, as an adult are struggling with fear, you may be helped by reading, Battle Against Fear

Read Aloud Every Day

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Huffinton Post reported: On June 24, 2014, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued its first-ever policy statement focused on literacy promotion, calling for pediatricians to advise all parents about the many benefits of reading aloud, which promotes literacy and social-emotional skills.

“Reading with young children is a joyful way to build strong and healthy parent-child relationships and stimulate early language development,” Dr. Pamela High, a pediatrician and professor at Brown University’s Alpert Medical School, told The Huffington Post.

“Even in higher-income families, many children do not experience the enhanced engagement and language-rich parent-child interactions, including book handling, print exposure and other early literacy experiences afforded by daily shared reading,” the authors write. “All families face issues of limited time, limited parental understanding of the key role of reading aloud and competition for the child’s interest and attention from other sources of entertainment, such as electronic media.”

“As for parents, High said they should remember the so-called ‘5 Rs‘ of early education: reading with their children daily as part of a set routine; rhyming, singing and cuddling with them throughout the day; establishing routines and regular times for meals and sleep; rewarding them for their efforts and successes to boost self-esteem; and developing relationships that are reciprocal and nurturing. Parents should make daily reading a part of their regular, set routine.”

So, Moms and Dads, take the time, make the effort to include reading books together as part of your daily routine with your babies and young children.

A Better Way to Stop Lying

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from Mamapedia.com

Do stories like Pinocchio really keep our kids from lying?

One of the key ways parents teach their children right from wrong is through stories. Part of the continued popularity of Aesop’s Fables, which date all the way back to the fifth century BC, is that they’re an effective tool for instilling morals and values in our kids. Right?

Well, it depends, according to a new study.

The research, which was recently published in the journal Psychological Science, looked at the effectiveness of moral tales to encourage young children to tell the truth.

The results demonstrate that stories focusing on the negative consequences of lying — such as your nose growing longer and longer with each fib — are a lot less successful at molding honest children than stories that praise a character for choosing to tell the truth.

The experiment involved a researcher giving a child aged 3 to 7 a temptation too good to resist: Telling said child not to look at a toy and then leaving him/her alone in the room. Not surprisingly, most of the kiddos looked at the toy.

Upon returning to the room, the researcher read the child one of four morality-themed tales — two of which associate lying with negative consequences (Pinocchio and The Boy Who Cried Wolf), one of which involves a character being praised for his honesty (George Washington and the Cherry Tree), and one of which is totally unrelated to the topic of truth-telling (The Tortoise and the Hare). Researchers then analyzed which of the kids confessed to looking at the toy and which didn’t.

The result? The fables involving significant negative consequences for lying, i.e. public humiliation via of an ever-elongating schnoz and death via a wolf’s jaws, were no better at encouraging honesty than the story that didn’t mention deceit at all.

The only tale that inspired the kids to confess to peeking at the toy was the one in which the future first president fesses up — ”I cannot tell a lie” — and is subsequently praised by his dad for telling the truth. Children who were told this story were three times more likely to be honest than those who had heard the other fables.

The takeaway for us parents trying to raise honorable kids is that emphasizing the positive results of truth-telling is far more effective than highlighting the negative consequences of lying.

While scolding them for their transgressions is often necessary, commending their good behavior makes an even stronger impression. The satisfaction of being praised far outweighs the fear of being reprimanded.

Although I wouldn’t expect “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” to become “Say What’s True and We’ll Thank You!” anytime soon.

by Katie Markey McLaughlin is a freelance writer and blogger who believes that moms can do anything, but not everything. Her blog Pick Any Two encourages all of us to set priorities without apology or guilt.

Another good article on lying is Turning Lies into Lemonade  from A Fine Parent web site.

What Nutrition?

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As our children grow we may worry about whether they are getting the right kind of nutrition. We knew exactly what our children were eating when we were the only one feeding them. But soon, too soon, they discover fast food.

Is fast food OK for our kids?

When our time and strength are limited, it is easy to wheel into McDonalds for a quick bite. But here’s some food for thought.

It’s extremely difficult to eat in a healthy way at any fast food restaurant. The fats, sugar, and salt in fast food draw kids like a magnet, largely because they appeal to a child’s “primordial tastes,” explains Shanthy A. Bowman, PhD.

Because fast food doesn’t contain much fiber, kids don’t feel full afterward — so they eat more later. So it is not just what they eat at that meal, but what they eat the rest of the day that is a concern. It is easy to go above the appropriate calorie intake and fall way short of nutrition on days they eat fast food.

An occasional fast food meal is OK, but more home-cooked, family meals with better nutrition will go a long way to helping your children learn healthy eating habits for a life-time.

Should we hide veggies so kids will eat more of them?

There are two opposite ideas about getting kids to eat more veggies. One says we should make them more attractive so kids will want to eat them and the other says to hide them in foods they already like. After some research, here’s my take. If our kids won’t eat canned peas or slimy boiled spinach, making our veggies more attractive could help a lot! Providing veggies with crunch, cut up to eat as finger food, served with nutritious dips, and in a variety of colors will appeal to most kids.

But when the nutritious food just won’t be eaten by our kid no matter how nicely it is served, it’s time to become more creative. Packing whole grains, yogurt, veggies, and eggs into foods they love like pastas, soups, and smoothies makes good sense.

Penn State researcher Barbara Rolls, PhD found that adding pureed vegetables to favorite foods led 3- to 6-year-olds to consume almost twice as many vegetables (and 11 percent fewer calories) over the course of a day. “I think it’s really important for children to know what vegetables and other ingredients are in their food; that helps them learn about the many forms in which vegetables can be eaten and how vegetables served in different forms can taste different.” Never lie about the ingredients. When your child asks what is in the food, answer honestly so he will trust what you say about food.

Exposing children to a variety of nutritious foods that are minimally processed, serving foods in appropriate portions, and limiting nutrient-poor foods are small steps we can take to help our children learn to appreciate the tastes, textures and flavors of healthful foods. It may also reduce the likelihood they’ll get hooked on less healthy options.

Getting children to help plan, buy, and prepare food helps them develop an interest in eating wholesome food. Talking about the color, texture, and value of different nutrients gives our kids more reason to enjoy food that it good for them.

Healthy Snack Ideas
To help you find additional ways to get more nutrition into your kids, see our Kid Friendly recipes section of Your Child’s Journey.

Here are some ideas for quick to prepare, nutritious snacks that may interest even the pickiest eaters.

  • Peanut butter and jelly on rice cakes or rye crackers, banana bread, sweet potato muffins, or oatmeal cookies with raisins, cranberries or nuts
  • Whole grain tortilla roll ups with cheese, chopped veggies, beans, or left over chicken
  • Hard boiled eggs and cheese slices or cubes. Baked sweet potato chips- no salt necessary
  • Hummus (chickpea paste), guacamole, or salsa with cut up veggies or salt-free crackers to dip
  • Snack mix made with popcorn, nuts, pretzels and dried fruit
  • Whole grain waffles with peanut butter or low-fat cream cheese and jelly or raisins on top
  • Yogurt and cut fruit or juice frozen into popsicles or blended into smoothies
  • A small cup of frozen fruit

Please: write in if you have other questions about or suggestions for nutritious, fun food for kids.

Bedwetting Myths

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Parents.com published an article, 10 Bedwetting Myths. Take the quiz below and see how well you do at knowing the truth about this common problem.

  1. A child who wets the bed is just too lazy to go to the bathroom.
  2. Punishment helps a child stop wetting the bed at night.
  3. Bedwetting is caused by stress.
  4. Boys wet the bed more than girls.
  5. Most bedwetters have a true medical problem.
  6. Prescribed drugs will end bedwetting.
  7. The best tactic is to just wait it out.
  8. All children wet at night for the same reason.
  9. Bedwetters simply drink too much before bedtime.
  10. Bedwetting is brought on by poor potty training.

To learn the truth about these statements go to: 10 Bedwetting Myths.