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Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

You are here: Home / Archives for Diane Constantine

French Parenting

March 6, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

Could some of these techniques make parenting in the US and Asia easier? This is excerpt from Fox News, March 3, 2013


Pamela Druckerman, an American living in Paris, didn’t expect to find anything special about French parenting – but little by little, she noticed life was different for French parents. Easier, perhaps.

“Children in France typically eat much better, for starters,” said Druckerman, who is the author of Bringing Up Bebe, and its sequel, Bebe Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting.

“You don’t have kids just eating kids’ food all the time. Grownups and adults eat the same thing. There were babies sleeping through the night much sooner than American babies around me.”

Druckerman said French parents are “old-school,” in that their life does not revolve entirely around their kids, and they are better at saying “no” and sticking with it.

“They don’t want to fall into that cycle of perpetual negation that we often find ourselves in America,” Druckerman said. “But, at the same time, they give kids a lot of freedom. French kids bake cakes and load the dishwasher at 3-years-old, and they make salad dressing.”

1. You are the keeper of the fridge.

“Kids don’t snack in between meals in France,” Druckerman said. “There is one official snack time of the day; in the afternoon, and basically they eat well at meal times.”

Druckerman said she thinks this is one of the reasons France has such low childhood obesity levels.

2. Don’t let your child interrupt you.
“I think in America, we have gotten used to stopping everything when the child comes in, and that’s why you have moms and dads who say, ‘I can’t finish a cup of coffee, I can’t finish a conversation with my spouse…’ In France, children, of course, try to interrupt – they’re normal kids – and parents will say, ‘Excuse me, honey, I’m in the middle of something; I will be with you in a minute.'”

3. Let them eat cake.
This means two things, Druckerman said. First, kids literally bake cakes – starting at an early age. “It’s a way of teaching kids patience and self-control,” she said. “The other side is, you get to eat cake at the end. But you eat it normally as an afternoon snack. So it takes a wait.”

4. Show kids you have a life apart from them.
A French friend of hers went back to work so her children saw their mother’s life did not revolve around them entirely, Druckerman said, adding that children need to see a “mysterious adult realm” that they can aspire to one day.

Alternately, parents should have alone time and show kids they like to have privacy.

5. Punish rarely, but make it matter.
This is all about choosing your battles, Druckerman said. “Have certain no-go areas that the kids accept as laws of nature,” she said. “One of those is politeness.” In France, kids must always say “hello, good-bye, please and thank you.”

But – you don’t have to jump on your child for every little thing they do wrong – or else a parent’s authority will ultimately be diminished.

Go to  Fox News, March 3, 2013, to see the whole article

Filed Under: All Ages, Feeding Tagged With: discipline, eating, feeding

Good Manners

March 1, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

For many of you reading this article, your children are too young to teach good manners. You are still trying to get them to sleep through the night or to drink from a cup or your child is only beginning to talk and name objects. But it is never too early to begin demonstrating good manners by the way you act and talk and relate to others. And it will be sooner than you imagine that your baby is able to practice speaking and acting politely. Helping your child learn to use good manners will get him noticed- for all the right reasons!

All of us want our children to have good manners. Proverbs 20:11 tells us, “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” Parents.com published an article with 25 manners kids should know. It is a rather daunting task, but good manners can gently be taught in our normal family interactions.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Preschooler, Toddler Tagged With: manners

Parenting in Public

February 22, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

I read this article on line at Parenting.com.  It has so many practical ideas for helping children behave when in public. You know, most of the time, it has to do with how well you prepared ahead of time. This is a teaser, take time to read the whole article at: Parents.com

 

How to Parent in Public

Parenting when others are watching can be nerve-wracking, but a lot of those onlookers want to share advice, not pass judgment.
By Mindy Walker from Parents Magazine
child in toy store

One kid is dangling dangerously off your grocery cart. Another is pulling cracker boxes off the shelves. Your list has gone missing, the whining is growing noticeably louder, and you’re beginning to yell in that way that announces, “Mother of the Year in Aisle 5!” Parenting when others are watching can be tough, but it might help you to know that the grocery-store clerk is actually on your side. Same with the waiter, the flight attendant, and the nurse. Because of their jobs, they’ve seen nearly every child antic and tantrum you can possibly imagine. And it turns out that if you promise anonymity, they’ll share some pretty great coping tips.

See the tips from the following people you and your children will meet. Parents.com

From the grocery-store manager:

From the kids’ clothing-store owner:

From the children’s hair cutter:

From the toy-store owner:

From the nurse at the pediatrician’s office:

From the children’s librarian:

From the family-restaurant owner:

From the birthday-party entertainer:

From the flight attendant

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: discipline, parenting

Help the Challenged Child

January 30, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

Over the last months I’ve been sharing from my husband’s web site: Intermin on parenting. This month will be the last in this series. We have been talking about different reasons children might not behave as you would expect. One reason is rebellion, another is discouragement, and this one is when they have a weakness. If we take the same approach to every misbehaviour, we will miss some of the most important opportunities to influence our children to do their best. To read the entire article go to: Help the Challenged Child.

There’s a mystery about Vincent. Here’s the explanation of it. Vincent has learning disabilities: special problems that make it hard for him to learn in a normal school room setting. His problems aren’t serious enough to detect easily, and that makes things worse. Vincent’s difficulty isn’t his intellect, but the way he processes information. With the proper help, Vincent will become an outstanding young man. However, if someone doesn’t help him, if he is ignored or misunderstood, Vincent’s true potential will be wasted.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: challenges, discipline, weakness

Partnering With Your Child’s Preschool Teacher

January 26, 2013 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

If teaching was show business, then your child’s teacher would get star billing. But don’t forget about the other major player whose role in your child’s education can help make it a smash success: Yes, you, the parent.

When parents and educators co-star in a child’s big show – a.k.a. school – everybody benefits: The teachers who can count on the support of active and involved parents, the parents who stays connected to their kids and school and, most important, the child whose parents and teachers are working in tandem

Educational research bears out the fact that academic achievement, attitude, and attendance improve measurably when parents are involved in their children’s schooling.

These first years of school are the ideal time to start developing connections with the teachers, the school staff, and even other parents. Here are ways to keep in touch with the teacher and be an active partner in your child’s education.

Meet the teacher

To get the school year off to a good start – and help the teacher get to know your child and your family – set up a meeting with your child’s teacher early in the year, even, if possible, before your child starts. Many teachers in the classroom in the days before school starts. Also, it’s often a more relaxed time for them. If you haven’t already gotten an email, call, or letter during the summer, contact the school office to find out the best way to get in touch with the teacher. (These days, most teachers find email works best.) When you meet, help the teacher get to know your child’s passions (“She loves animals.”), problems (“He’s great at puzzles, but freaks out if he can’t finish one.”), and any other issues that may prove challenging at school. (“My child has trouble sharing.”)

Communicate often

Ask the teacher how she likes best to communicate – email, phone calls, or even a notebook that goes back and forth between home and school. Many preschool teachers are open to writing notes about your child every once in a while to check in; kindergarten teachers with more students to oversee are less likely to. Parent-teacher conferences – which usually take place once each semester – offer a chance to have a more in-depth conversation about your child. During conferences, ask the teacher to describe your child’s strengths and weaknesses, and be sure to air any concerns you have. (Click here and here for more tips on preparing for a parent-teacher conference.)

To read the rest of the article: GreatSchools.org

Filed Under: Preschooler Tagged With: education, teacher

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