Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

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Vocabulary Growth

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This is especially for parents with preschool children and older.

Every parent wants their child to do well in school. We want our children to read as soon as possible and to love learning. We know the importance of a good start to education. So let’s explore some things you can do to help your child develop a good vocabulary and use of language.

Read to your children often. Read stories they enjoy. And read books above their reading level about subjects they are interested in. If your son is fascinated by dinosaurs, don’t just read children’s books with dinosaurs. Find books and articles that teach more about them than they would be able to learn on their own.

Play word games. Driving in the car, waiting in line, and instead of a computer game, play guessing games. Challenge them to describe something of their choice. Ask questions about its use, parts, color, size, shape, what it is made of, what other things go with it, and its category. Then change roles and let your child ask the questions and guess.

Listen to your child tell a story. This may be the hardest thing you do all day with your child! Some children can talk your arm and leg off! But listen and ask questions. Push them to explain how it could be done differently. If your child doesn’t easily tell what they are thinking about, ask questions they cannot answer with a nod or one word. Encourage conversation. She may be shy or she may be afraid to say something wrong. Reward her attempts with extra time and attention from you.

Memory Games. You can start with rhymes or song lyrics. Grocery lists and steps in a process are all things we all must learn to remember. Memory will go a long way to helping your child in school. Retelling stories with the details in order is another way to help retention of facts. 

Fifty Cent Words. Kids love to learn a big, adult-like word for simple things. You can share a Fifty Cent word every day with your child and encourage them to use it in a sentence. Or let them choose a word that they would like to learn a Fifty Cent synonym for. We taught our toddler ‘umbilicus’ for ‘belly button.’ He loved to show off his Fifty Cent words and would try to insert them into conversations. Words have always been fascinating to him and helped him learn new vocabulary at school easily.

I’d love to be able to share your ideas of ways you help your children grow their vocabulary and become fluent in language. Email your suggestions to: Diane

When to Call the Doctor

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I was reminded by the experience of one of our friends about fevers in babies and small children.

Fever in childhood can be common. There are lots of causes. Teething, a simple cold or flu, and even just excessive activity can bring on a low-grade fever. Making sure your child drinks plenty and gets rest will often see the temperature return to normal in a day or so.

But high fevers are nothing to take lightly with a baby or young child.

In the unlikely event that your child should run a high fever, it is good for you to know what to do and what not to do.

If your child feels warm to the touch, take their temperature. A rectal temperature is the most accurate, though under the arm will work. A fever over 100.4 degrees F. or 38 degrees C. must be reported to a doctor immediately. To help bring the fever down, a cool (not cold!) sponge bath can help keep the fever from rising dangerously high while you seek medical help. Do not give any medication until prescribed by a doctor.

A baby’s immune system is not ready to handle an infection on its own. The doctor will be able to advise treatment for the cause of the fever.

High fevers can trigger a febrile seizure or fit. 

This is the primary reason to get the fever down as soon as possible. Usually, a child having a febrile seizure shakes all over and loses consciousness. Sometimes, the child may get very stiff or twitch in just one area of the body. They may vomit. The fit seldom lasts more than a couple minutes.

So here are a few tips on what to do if you come across a case of febrile fits with a baby or child:

  • Protect them by placing him/her on the floor or bed away from any hard or sharp objects.
  • Turn his/her head to the side so that any saliva or vomit can drain from their mouth.
  • Get medical help immediately.

Now for the good news!

Most children respond well to medication for the cause of any fever they get. Most children never have a febrile fit. And most who do have one, never have another one in their lives.

For more information about reasons to call your child’s doctor see: Symptoms to Call Your Doctor About

“Listen, Mom, Dad! Listen!’

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Our goal to know our children doesn’t seem like an impossible goal. But then, we can realize that a whole week has gone by and we haven’t said anything to our children except the necessities. That isn’t the worst part, we have let a whole week go by without hearing anything but one word answers to our questions along with a nod, shrug, or blank-eyed stare.

There is a simple way to make sure we are hearing what our children are thinking about. It begins with a plan and then the commitment to keep to the plan. Set aside 10 minutes a day to listen to each child.

Children each have their “best” time of the day to talk. For many children it is right after they arrive home from preschool, kindy, or school. They have lots of stories about their day that they want to share with someone who will listen. If this is your child, plan and commit yourself to taking the first 10 minutes after arriving home (and before chores) to sit, cuddle, and listen to your child. They may bubble over with information or they may soak up your presence for a while before talking. Either way, ask an open-ended question that cannot be answered with “yes”, “no”, a nod, a shrug, or a simple fact. They have to think a little or remember something or express how an event made them feel. Follow-up questions may ask about how they reacted, what were other ways they could have responded, or what they want to do about it.

After 10 minutes, they may follow you into the kitchen and talk more while you prepare dinner. Keep your heart open and be ready to be a support and encourage your child.

For some children, it is during the bedtime routine that they want to open up. If this is your child’s best time, then plan your 10 minutes of listening as part of the bedtime routine. As they get into their teen years, bedtime or later will probably become their favorite time to talk.

Another time may be in the car. Some children really like to talk when you are not looking directly at them. They may find it is easier to talk when your eyes are on the road. This is fine. Find the way your own child can most easily express themselves.

Now, the trick is not to use this time to correct them or tell them your own story or intimidate them. If they feel like they will only open themselves up for scolding or a lecture, they will soon find ways to avoid the 10 minutes with you.

At some other time in the next day or so, you may say that you have been thinking about what they talked about. Then you might be able to tell your story or share some other ideas about ways to handle similar situations. Don’t make this part of the 10 listening, though.

Soak up these precious moments with your child. Remember what they talked about. Think about how they are experiencing their world. They will love your attention and it will be one of their sweetest memories of childhood.

Happy Listening!

Slime

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Ah what fun my sister had with her grand kids playing with slime.

Here’s her recipe.

1 CUP Elmer’s White Glue
1 CUP Water
Mix thoroughly.
Add a few drops of food coloring.  Blue is pretty!
Add 1 CUP Liquid Laundry Starch- Be sure to shake well before using. It settles out!
Stir until MIXED
Let sit 5 minutes
Begin to KNEAD until ready.
You may need to add either more glue or more starch until slime is just right.
“just right” means, that it does not stick to your fingers – but is not too stringy.  It should be “elastic” in texture.

Preparing a Child for the Loss of a Loved One

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anxious boy grieving the loss of a terminally-ill family member

It’s tough to say for sure how your child will handle this kind of loss, especially depending on who the afflicted person is. Some kids actually handle the news better than adults — they might not truly grasp the situation ahead of time, and their tendency to live in the moment will prevent them from thinking too far ahead about it. However, the loss will have a significant impact on them at some point, and they’ll need your help moving forward.

One of the most crucial factors to keep in mind with children is the need to be honest. While there may be certain details you don’t need to give them — younger children might not necessarily need the explanation of the kind of cancer, for example — it’s important they have an accurate understanding of what’s going on. Use language they can understand, and simplify when possible. Answer their questions, and be prepared to go over things more than once. You might need to address things they’ve overheard from others, so be mindful of what’s said around them and be prepared to follow up.

Some children end up feeling somehow responsible for the illness of a loved one, especially if it’s a parent or someone else especially close to them. It’s easy for them to flash to an angry memory where they shouted an angry thought or “wish,” and come to the conclusion that they have actually caused the condition. Even if your child doesn’t say they are feeling this way, make sure they know in no uncertain terms that the illness is not their fault, and there isn’t anything they could have done to prevent it. Explain that sometimes, terrible things happen and wonderful people get sick.

Talk to your child about what’s going on regularly, even if they don’t outwardly seem to be very bothered by it. They might find comfort in creating a memory box full of photos, memorabilia, and other items that remind them of their loved one. Giving them a grief journal to write down their thoughts and feelings can also be soothing, whether it’s before or immediately following the passing. If your child seems to be struggling to cope or isn’t opening up to you, they might feel more comfortable speaking to an older sibling or another family member. Try not to get upset if this is the case — it’s possible that your child sees you coping with your own grief and doesn’t want to add to it. Let them know you’re always available to talk whenever they’re ready, and that it will never be a bother or inconvenience. Even if they don’t open up right away, it’s crucial to say the words so they know the door is always open.

Let your child be involved with visiting and caring for your loved one for as long as it’s appropriate. It may be tough for them to see that person, especially if they are visibly deteriorating, but it can be an important part of understanding and coping with the ultimate death. Give them the opportunity to say goodbye, especially if you become aware that time is running low.

Losing a loved one to a terminal illness is undoubtedly a bitter pill to swallow, but try to take comfort in the fact that their suffering will soon end. Lean on your family and friends, be open and understanding of how others feel, and do what you can to help everyone move forward.

Part of a much longer article from Neptune Society