Lonely Husband

November 4, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

A nicely dressed husband and wife walked into our condo one afternoon. They were in their mid-forties, have two teenagers, and good jobs. They looked successful and like they should have everything necessary for a good life.

After some chit-chat, we asked what they would like to talk about; how we could help them. The wife started by saying, “He has been cheating on me.”

The husband sat with his head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. He admitted he had been unfaithful. When we asked, “Why?” He said, “I’ve been so lonely in our marriage. The girl at work took time to talk to me and showed me she thought I was special.”
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Being Spontaneous

October 16, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

I received the following article from a Malaysian friend, Lai. She has a keen interest in children and helping parents in their challenging task of child rearing. I think it is encouraging to hear about how others raised good, successful children.

Maybe it is because we are so busy these days or maybe it is just out of fear, we do too much for our children. They are capable of so much more. When we teach them skills and then expect them to do them, we are teaching them to be the capable, diligent people we want them to be as adults. See how Lai did it. [Read more…]

Bad Reasons to Avoid Early Intervention

October 6, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

So maybe your pediatrician has talked to you about getting early intervention services for your child, or you’ve let your doubts about your child’s development lead you into making a few phone calls about it. You’re worried about your child, but you’re also worried that getting help will mean there really is something wrong. These five reasons to skip EI may be nagging at you, tempting you to just go on and hope for the best. Don’t listen. They’re bad reasons. Here’s why.

1. I don’t want to label my child.
The “label” your child gets to qualify for early intervention doesn’t go on his “permanent record” — many kids go from EI right into regular education preschools and kindergartens. The idea is to label now so that there’s no need to label later. Because those labels that come later stick a lot harder.

2. My family thinks it’s a bad idea.
Mothers and fathers and in-laws and siblings are always full of advice, but as a parent, the buck stops with you. You spend more time observing your child than anyone, and if you have concerns, they need to be respected — if not by others, then absolutely by yourself. Follow your gut.

3. My child will catch up on her own.
Maybe, but you’re gambling with your child’s life here. When your child is five and still delayed, you’re not going to be able to dial things back and try early intervention. Early intervention will do no harm, and may do a great deal to help. Why take a chance when you don’t need to?

4. Children need to play and have fun, not do therapy.
Sending your child to early intervention is not like sending him to boot camp. It’s fun. Your child will think he’s playing as he does things to strengthen his motor skills and gain meaningful language. You’ll have fun watching it, too.

5. I’ll just work with my child myself.
Terrific! Work with your child yourself! There are lots of hours in the day. Doing early intervention doesn’t mean doing nothing else. You’ll still want and need to work with your child. But chances are the intervention therapists will be able to give you ways to do that so much more effectively.

For many more articles on related topics see: SpecialChildren.About.com

Find Your Happy Parent Place

September 22, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

Editor’s Note: This is a wonderful article with good ideas on how to keep your sanity and your marriage in the midst of parenting. Pick one and start doing it today. You’ll be happy you did!
Diane

Admit it: Parenting can be a real grind sometimes. But if you follow these six simple mantras, you’ll have a lot more fun — and so will your kids.
By Scott Westcott

How to Be Happier, Now

Welcome to a typical mom morning. It begins when your toddler dive-bombs into your bed at 5 a.m. You stumble through the dark for an eyes-half-open diaper change. Next comes breakfast. The daily recipe: spilled milk and fistfuls of Cheerios dumped on the floor. Then you do the dishes and get your child dressed, all before you drink your morning coffee. Are we having fun yet? The answer is not so simple.

Being a parent is inspiring and rewarding, but it’s also demanding and thankless. A recent Princeton University survey found that typical childcare tasks are roughly as pleasurable as housework — in other words, not very. But the fact is that our kids are our pride and joy. How can this be, when they’re also a drag on our quality of life?

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How Do I Choose a Breast Pump

September 11, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

When deciding what kind of pump to use or if one is even necessary, it is helpful to consider what your needs will be for expressed milk. Some women find that they never need to use a pump after seeing how easy it is to take a breastfed baby along. Others who will be away from the baby for specific times will need some way to express milk. Many women find it easy to hand express milk when needed. LLLI offers an information sheet Manual Expression Of Breast Milk which is available in the LLLI Online Store or from your local LLL Leader.

If you find you do need a pump, there are many different kinds of pumps available. Selecting the best pump can be likened to choosing a handbag–there are many options, and what works for one woman is not necessarily the best option for another. Some considerations when thinking about pumps are cost, portability, noise level, ease of use and efficiency. There are manual (hand operated) pumps ($14-$50) which often are helpful for those who want to pump on an occasional basis to leave milk for baby. Most are easy to operate, are small, and easy to transport. Some require two hands and others operate with only one hand. The “bicycle horn” style manual pump is NOT recommended. There are also small electric pumps ($30-$150) available from different manufacturers. These use batteries or AC adapters to supply the power and are still quite small and portable. Some are quiet and some are not.

See more at: La Leche League