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Your Child's Journey

wisdom for the big steps little children take

Bonding and Brain Chemicals

August 12, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

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Some time ago I read a book called, The Brain that Changes Itself. It introduced me to the idea that our brains are able to change and adapt. Much of that change occurs because of chemicals that act on the brain. Then, recently, I read an article that talked about the chemicals in the brain that make bonding with our baby, both possible and pleasurable. We turn from rather self-centered individuals into people who would sacrifice everything for a wrinkled, red, almost alien-looking bundle. So I’ve been doing more research. In this article, I want to share some of the major lessons I’ve learned.

The key to bonding with our baby is a mysterious process that causes us to enjoy one another. Moms and dads fall in love with their own baby and each baby falls in love with its own mom and dad. As long as we don’t interfere with the process, it will happen flawlessly and rather magically. An intricate dance begins even before birth, continues through the birth process, to feeding, cuddling, and playing with the baby. Touch and smell, sight and hearing all play a role, but the biggest role is played by some powerful chemicals rearranging our brains.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Newborn Tagged With: bonding

Sibling Rivalry

July 30, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

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Quarreling and fighting among siblings is a perennial problem. Every mom of two or more kids faces it. Remember Joseph and his brothers in Genesis? Even Fairy Tales like Cinderella talk about sibling rivalry. We hope to make this an on-going discussion. Why not share your examples, strategies, and resources for other moms facing the dreaded Sibling Rivalry?

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Filed Under: Preschooler, Toddler Tagged With: discipline, sibling rivalry, strategies

New Kid by Friday – part 6

July 28, 2010 By Diane Constantine

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Over the last few months I’ve been sharing some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday.

These are the last two strategies from Dr. Leman that we will cover in these letters. Strategy one, “Let reality be the teacher.” And the second strategy is, “B doesn’t happen until A is completed.”

He stresses that as much as possible allow natural consequences to teach lessons to your child. Don’t be constantly reminding them of the consequences, just let them feel them. Don’t micromanage your child’s experiences. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Kindergarten, Preschooler, Toddler Tagged With: discipline

Strategies for Changing Behavior

June 30, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

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Over the last few months I’ve been sharing some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday.

These are the last two strategies from Dr. Leman that we will cover in these letters. Strategy one, “Let reality be the teacher.”  And the second strategy is, “B doesn’t happen until A is completed.”

Allow natural consequences to teach lessons:

He stresses that as much as possible allow natural consequences to teach lessons to your child. Don’t be constantly reminding them of the consequences, just let them feel them. Don’t micromanage your child’s experiences.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: eating, mealtime

New Kid by Friday- part 5

May 30, 2010 By Diane Constantine Leave a Comment

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Dr. Leman has a technique that he uses for a lot of different behavior problems. This one works particularly well when the purpose of the misbehavior is to get your attention and to control you. It goes like this: 1. Say it once. 2. Turn your back. 3. Walk away.

Telling your child more than once, he believes, just teaches your child that you think he/she is too stupid to understand you the first time. I tend to think it teaches children that they don’t have to obey until you have gotten worked up about it. That’s why counting is usually a bad idea.

Turning your back keeps your child from the reward of your attention. Children sometimes want your attention so much they don’t care if it means being punished. Not giving them attention when they are misbehaving breaks that link. Later, when they are doing well is the time to reward them with your attention.

Walking away is the hardest part of this method. When you walk away your child begins to panic, “Why isn’t mom giving me what I expect?” Dr. Leman says not to even say why you are walking away, just do it and it will result in a teachable moment.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: All Ages Tagged With: bedtime, discipline, sleep, tantrums

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