How does your toddler respond to novelty? Does she sometimes jump right into a novel situation with determination and excitement and then in the next moment throw a fit over some slight variation of common events? Part of the way she deals with novelty is her own personality; outgoing, shy, or task-oriented. Part of her response is due to her stage of development.
Your preschooler is probably happy most of the time. But there are many things that can cause stress for your preschooler. She has so many new skills to juggle. The arrival of a new sibling, lack of a regular routine, illness, moving, vacation, change in caregivers, fear of the dark, and even too many planned activities can stress your preschooler.
The signs of stress at this age often depend on his personality. Some preschoolers become withdrawn and seem bored, while others become angry and impatient. Some don’t want to play or want to go home when they have just arrived at playgroup. Some regress in their toilet training or in self-skills like dressing themselves.
Two-and-a-half is the most unpredictable preschool age. She will shift from one extreme to the other without warning. This is not because she purposely wants to confuse you or irritate you or defy you. The reason for this changeability lies in a giant step she is taking in decision making.
She is discovering opposites and alternate choices. She understands yes and no, run and stop, take and give, come and go, etc. But now she cannot sort out the relative merits of these opposites for any situation. She is not yet capable of thinking of only one to the exclusion of the other.
Your two-year old’s brain is three-fourths the size of her adult brain. By five years of age, it will be nearly full size. As her brain grows, structures involved in learning, memory, motor control, and other brain functions are being developed.
Right now, she has trillions of neural pathways, double the number she will have as an adult. The more often a pathway is used, the stronger the connections are. The development of these pathways is influenced by how your toddler’s brain is used, the variety and richness of the environment she is exposed to, and genetics. Routine and repetition cause the brain to strengthen the most important connections. Less used pathways are treated by the brain as less important. The pathways that are not used or only used infrequently, will wither away. This is a normal process called pruning.
The key word for this age is “Again!” She may want to follow the same routine day in and day out or wear the same clothes every day or eat the same foods. As irritating as this can be to live with, the repetition is providing your little one with a sense of stability and control. She is trying to make sense of her world. Once she figures out how something is supposed to work, she wants to do it repeatedly to make sure it happens that way every time. When she sees the same result, she is reassured and gains confidence. Rituals provide comfort.