How We Connect

From
newborn to preschool, we need to connect in meaningful ways with our
little one. We all fall into routines, some are good and some not so
good. From time-to-time we should stop and think about the long-term
benefits of our ways of connecting with our child.

When
they are infants, our quick response to their needs, builds trust. They
learn that we know what they need and will take care of them. This is
basic to their ability to form secure relationships later in life.

As
they get a bit older, we need to begin to develop meaningful patterns
and habits of life. In other words, rituals of connection.

Think
about how you greet your child when they wake from sleep. You may sing a
silly song or rub their back or play peek-a-boo. These help your child
get ready for day-time activities. Later, you will settle into routines
to get your child up and dressed. These are so much more effective if
they are cheerful and reassuring instead of prodding and rushing. Slow
down and enjoy these moments together at the beginning the day.

Even
while your child is too young to fret when you leave the room, tell
them you are going, but will be back. Of course they don’t understand
the words when they are very young, but they understand your tone of
voice and come to expect you will reappear soon.

Begin a routine
way of saying, “Goodbye,” when you have to leave them for day care while
you go to work. They may cry for a little bit, but they will come to
understand the meaning. Don’t sneak away. Find a pleasant, reassuring
way to say you are going, but will be back. As they get older, you can
use a favorite phrase or jingle or series of pats and kisses and wink.

Begin
a good bedtime, wind down routine. You can begin this very young. A
bath, a last bottle, a song, a short rock or cuddle. Put them to bed,
just like the room will be during the night, before they are sound
asleep. It won’t take long for the routine to help them begin to get
sleepy.

When your little one wants your attention, stop what you
are doing and give them a few minutes of your undivided attention. It
will go a long way to having a contented, cooperative child.

We’ll
revisit this topic from time-to-time. It is so important and yet so
easy to slip into bad habits. Make a real effort to connect meaningfully
with your child.