Parent Tips | Your Child's Journey

Have You Played Today?

January 23, 2018 by Diane Constantine

There used to be a bumper sticker that said, “Have you hugged your kid today?

Maybe today we need one that says, “Have you played with your kid today?” I’m using the idea of play in a very general way. This play is not just a game with rules or a sport. But something both parent and child can especially enjoy together.

Have the only things you’ve said and done with your children all been about tasks and completion? Here are a few things to think about.

Have you taken the time to tell or hear a silly story?
Have you plopped down on the floor and wrestled with your children?
Have you hugged your little child and started to dance across the floor?
Have you made a game of a chore instead of just telling Little One to ‘get it done’?
Have you worked a puzzle or drawn a picture together?

I think you get the idea. All these things take a little time. We must relax a little and not be compulsive about the completion of a task. They all mean some smiles or laughs by both parent and child. In other words, “Have Fun!”

Don’t let a day go by where the only things you talk to your child about are tasks and time and duty. Take a deep breath. Lay down your phone or paper and focus on your child. Start singing a silly song. You might find there is a better atmosphere in your home for the whole evening.

Toys, Toys, Toys

December 26, 2017 by Diane Constantine

Do your kids ever say they are bored when their room is littered with toys? Maybe they have too many toys. It is not just the gifts you give your kids, but your extended family may give them way too many. Children get overwhelmed if there are too many toys to choose to play with. They also learn to be more grateful for the toys they have when they don’t see so many at one time.

Here are a few ideas to help with this ‘good’ problem:

Keep some of their gifts in reserve for another season when your children get fewer new things.
Sort their toys. Whichever ones they have out-grown, sell or give away. Children may even get involved in giving good, used toys to a children’s home. (Not all kids can tolerate seeing old favorites go out the door. Be sensitive to their feelings.)
Rotate their toys. Put some of their toys out of sight to rotate with the toys they are currently enjoying. When a toy reappears it is even more enjoyable.

Gift Giving

December 19, 2017 by Diane Constantine

Are you going into debt to give gifts? How long will the things you buy satisfy and please your children? What are your children learning through these gifts?

Consider these ideas about gift giving:

Don’t go into debt for gifts. They are much more fun to give when you don’t have to face credit card bills in the New Year.
Involve your children in buying gifts for each other and family members.
Include your children in sharing Christmas joy with those less fortunate.
Invite those who have no family of their own to share your holiday celebrations.
Make a memory instead of buying things. (Take your kids to some event or place and spend time together doing something they won’t forget.)

My most memorable childhood Christmases were when we brought an orphan girl to share a few days with us during the holiday season. We each made gifts for her as we did for each other. Other years we helped mom shop for food baskets to take to poor families who lived near-by. We often went as a family to visit older family members and took them homemade cookies or other treats we helped to make.

Hear Your Child

November 30, 2017 by Diane Constantine

Most modern parents are frustrated that they cannot spend more time with their children. We wonder how we can make the most of the time we do have.

Ellen Mady recently wrote about how she is taking advantage of the time she has with her child. Every evening she asks three questions of her three year old. His answers give her a window into his thoughts, experiences, and feelings. She really listens and responds to what she hears. Her two year old also listens to these conversations and is beginning to be really interested too. Her three questions:

What is something that made you smile today?
What is something that made you cry today?
What is something that you learned today?

She says, “I want our kids to feel comfortable coming to us later on in their life when they find something challenging, need a shoulder to lean on or just want to share a success. That won’t come out of nowhere. Teaching our children when they are very young that sharing as a family is something good and normal builds a sense of security and trust that will help keep communication pathways open later on.”

Why am I So Sad?

September 24, 2017 by Diane Constantine

Why am I sad? I just had a beautiful, healthy baby!

Welcome to the majority of new moms! Where is the blissful joy we expected as the reward for labor? Why do we feel like this is the worst PMS ever?

With delivery go all those wonderful hormones. We’re profoundly exhausted by the birth process. Then comes learning to breast feed (no one told us we would have to learn how!) And, let’s not forget, sleep deprivation from waking to feed our darling every 2-3 hours.

The first two weeks involve profound physical, emotional, social and family changes. This is all normal. To feel sad and irritable is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by.

What should you do during this time? Ask for help, rest as much as possible, take good care of yourself, and share your feelings. Don’t bottle them up and make yourself feel even more miserable.

Life soon settles down to a new normal, hormones level out, and the worst of the emotional storms are past.

If however, you are among the 10-20% of moms whose baby blues last longer than two weeks and are more intense, you are experiencing postpartum depression. Talk to your OB/Gyn or midwife as soon as possible. There is much that can be done to help you out of this common depression. Don’t delay getting help. These first 2-3 months of your baby’s life are so important for bonding and establishing the foundations of trust in your baby. There is no shame in asking for help.